doesn’t have sex with her husband anymore. Instead, he locks himself in another room and looks at pornography online

Southern wife and mother who’d prefer to go by her anonymous online handle, doesn’t have sex with her husband anymore. Instead, he locks himself in another room and looks at pornography online, she says sometimes for 10-to-12 hours a day during a conference call she’s requested so that I can’t identify her home phone number. Though he’s “loving and touchy-feely” in public, all his affections at home go toward his habit for porn, a word Grits4Ever can barely bring herself to say. “I used to feel ashamed,” she admits, “like I was the only one out there with a problem, like it was my fault.” That is, until she found the Experience Project, a web site where thousands of others were also sharing their sexless-marriage stories.

doesn’t have sex with her husband anymore. Instead, he locks himself in another room and looks at pornography online

Southern wife and mother who’d prefer to go by her anonymous online handle, doesn’t have sex with her husband anymore. Instead, he locks him...

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“You actually have sex on the internet?!” look of shock and concern—raised eyebrows, dropped jaw.

“You actually have sex on the internet?!” look of shock and concern—raised eyebrows, dropped jaw. And then there’s the most curious reaction of all: the understanding, almost sympathetic nod, which says, “It must be tough, but good for you. After all, somebody has got to uncover that den of online perversion.” <br />Rarely do people—even sex positive people—respond cybersex positively. Why is that? When so many consenting adults are having sex online, why do we still think of it as “wrong”? Sure, we can blame media that feeds us anti-cybersex sensationalism (To Catch a Predator, with its line-up of internet prowling pedophiles, come to mind). But the truth is we love sex, and we definitely love technology. So why can’t we love the two together?<br /> “Are there any benefits to cybersex?” Like, seriously? Maybe I haven’t been making myself clear: of course there are benefits to cybersex! Cybersex, like real-life sex, can be a wonderful thing—full of pleasure, skill, and sexual self-expression. Here are the top ten reasons you—yes, you, red-blooded, non-perverted American citizen—should be out doing it right now.<br />1. Safety: Despite the sensationalist buzz around internet predators, cybersex is actually a lot safer than sex in real life. Don’t give out personal information to strangers, of course, and you’ll find the only thing you have worry about is what turns you on—not STD’s, not unwanted pregnancy, not even how to find a babysitter. As one single mom put it, “Why endanger my kids by bringing home sexual partners if I can tuck them into bed and have fun online in the next room?”<br />2. Convenient sex for singles: Cybersex doesn’t require an empty house, a hotel room, or even a bed. More importantly, it doesn’t require the lengthy tactics of face-to-face seduction. Whether you’re looking for a quick romp before you head off to work—hard to come by if you live alone—or an end-of-the-night, on-demand orgasm, the internet and its wealth of cybersex enthusiasts is always waiting and ready.<br />3. Convenient sex for couples: He lives in California. She’s spending three weeks visiting family in the Philippines. How will this couple handle their time apart? By having regular webcam sex, of course! Being long-distance doesn’t mean you have to be sexually frustrated. In fact, it can be a great time to explore sexy new sides to a relationship—with the help of a little technology.<br />4. Trying new kinks: Because cybersex isn’t “real,” it gives people a chance to experiment with sex acts and fetishes they haven’t, wouldn’t, or couldn’t in real life. Think you have a thing for stockings? Want to practice switching genders? Does the idea of being a giant whale really turn you on, but you can’t figure out the logistics? Internet sex communities are often accepting and almost always anonymous. Who’s going to judge you?<br />5. Meeting new people: Having cybersex with someone you’ve just met may seem strange, but it can actually lead to lasting online friendships. Hook up with a hottie in a virtual world and you may find yourself chatting about indie rock and ice cream preferences for hours after the sex is over. There’s also the appeal of the virtual one-night stand: a new lover every night, from the comfort of a desk chair.<br />6. Exercising your creative muscle: Cybersex is an art. How often do you get to write like an erotic novelist and dream up new ways to describe that tired, old “throbbing member”? Alternately, take pride in your digital-camera skills. You’re a real pornography photographer when you snap those naked pictures and post them online. Own up!<br />7. Making money: Sure, there are stigmas around using your body for cash. But combine the safety, creativity, and convenience of cybersex, and you’ve got a great recipe for online sex work. From escorting in Second Life to performing on webcams, the possibilities abound for internet users who feel comfortable putting themselves out there online—and earning something back in exchange.<br />8. Gaining confidence: Don’t think you’re a sexy person? You’re wrong. Someone out there on the world wide web shares your sexual interests—and thinks you’re hot. Start chatting; buy yourself a webcam. With enough cyberers wrapped around your sexy, virtual finger, you might just look in the real-life mirror a whole new way.<br />9. Practicing for “the real thing”: Talking dirty in real-life bed can be hard—not because it’s actually difficult, but because it comes with a lot of pressure. “What if I sound stupid? What if he doesn’t think it’s sexy?” Enter text-based cybersex. Thanks to the anonymity of the internet, it’s easy to get feedback on dirty talk—and to get used to hearing it coming out of your fingertips, if not your mouth.<br />10. The sheer pleasure: Cybersex is sexy, and it feels good. So go on, have some already!

“You actually have sex on the internet?!” look of shock and concern—raised eyebrows, dropped jaw.

“You actually have sex on the internet?!” look of shock and concern—raised eyebrows, dropped jaw. And then there’s the most curious reaction...

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"We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together,"

British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged "affair" in the online world.Amy Taylor, 28, said she had caught husband David Pollard, 40, having sex with an animated woman. The couple, who met in an Internet chatroom in 2003, are now separated."I went mad -- I was so hurt. I just couldn't believe what he'd done," "It may have started online, but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much now it is over."<br />Second Life allows users to create alter egos known as "avatars" and interact with other players, forming relationships, holding down jobs and trading products and services for a virtual currency convertible into real life dollars. <br />Taylor said she had caught Pollard's avatar having sex with a virtual prostitute: "I looked at the computer screen and could see his character having sex with a female character. It's cheating as far as I'm concerned."The couple's real-life wedding in 2005 was eclipsed by a fairy tale ceremony held within Second Life. she had subsequently hired an online private detective to track his activities: "He never did anything in real life, but I had my suspicions about what he was doing in Second Life."Pollard admitted having an online relationship with a "girl in America" but denied wrongdoing. "We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together," Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft.

"We weren't even having cyber sex or anything like that, we were just chatting and hanging out together,"

British couple who married in a lavish Second Life wedding ceremony are to divorce after one of them had an alleged "affair" in th...

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modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence

Once lost, virginity can never be replaced — but modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence. Hymenoplasty, the surgical reconstruction of the hymen broken during a women's first experience of intercourse, or, increasingly, during demanding exercise or as a result of a collision or fall by women who've never had sex, has prompted a growing number of young betrothed women in France to make a last-ditch attempt to avoid the humiliation, repudiation, and possibly violence that could result from husbands and families discovering from blood-free bridal sheets that their wedding night had not been their first sexual experience.Hymenoplasty has generated renewed attention here in the wake of a court ruling last month in the northern city of Lille, which annulled a marriage on the basis of a husband's complaint that his wife had falsely promised that she was a virgin — a confession he obtained after furiously waving the new couple's spotless bedclothes before still-celebrating wedding guests. Though the decision made no mention of religion, the fact that the couple were Muslim sparked complaints that France's strictly secular state is being undermined by traditional Arab cultural strictures. The court ruling also infuriated feminists, who saw its acceptance of prior sexual experience as grounds for annulment as tantamount to treating marriage as the equivalent of a commercial transaction in which the buyer had discovered a hidden flaw in his purchase. Many Muslim leaders were also outraged, insisting that Islam does not demand virginity as a precondition for marriage, and claimed that the ruling belied the judge's archaic misunderstanding of the faith and its tenets. <br />Though an appeal by France's Justice Ministry resulted in the Lille ruling being overturned, the storm it provoked has focused media attention on young Muslim women who turn to hymenoplasty to avoid the fate of the repudiated Lille bride. News reports have featured traumatized patients discussing the reaction they'd have faced on their wedding night or following virginity examinations frequently required prior to traditional marriages. Some admit they've paid as much as $5,250 to have their hymens reconstituted in private French clinics; others go to cities in Tunisia, Algeria, or Morocco, where the procedure is even more common, and costs as little as $300. Though the number of Muslim women in the United Kingdom, Germany, Belgium, and France undergoing the procedure is unknown, there's a consensus among doctors that hymenoplasty is increasingly common. Ironically, as some commentators note, the increase in the procedure reflects the growing emancipation of women from tradition-rooted communities, but also the ongoing male oppression signified by the obsession with female virginity. "French Muslim women are increasingly defying the restrictions and repression men try to enforce, and leading full, modern lives — including sexually," says Dounia Bouzar, whose recent book Allah, My Boss, and Me explores Islam in the French workplace. "The one time they feel obliged to make a concession to outdated attitudes is with the marital requirement of virginity — a purely macho tradition that has no basis in Islam, and is certainly nothing courts should be respecting. This surgery is unfortunate, though it is a way for women who have insisted on living their own lives to avoid punishment under a backward custom." Even then, there's plenty of anguish and surrender involved. Doctor Stephane Saint-Leger, head of the Children and Women's Ward at the Robert Ballanger Hospital in the ethnically diverse Paris suburb of Aulnay-sous-Bois, agrees the social and sexual differences between young Muslim and non-Muslim women in France are shrinking — including a trend of marrying later in life. That trend has generally reduced the likelihood of women of any faith marrying as virgins. But Saint-Leger says the pressure and intimidation evoked by the Muslim women who come to him for help as their traditional weddings loom frequently threaten their physical and psychological well-being. For that reason, he says, he often agrees to perform hymenoplasties, even though it's the kind of indirectly coerced act he considers ethically objectionable. "They represent young Muslim women surrendering to unnecessary medical intervention due to unacceptable pressure," Saint-Leger says. "With this, its pressure from the traditional people. But elsewhere, women also surrender to unnecessary medical intervention to change their breasts, noses, lips, or entire face due to unacceptable pressure of the beautiful people." <br />Though the overturning of the Lille verdict removes the risk non-virgin Muslim brides could find themselves dragged to court on fraud charges by infuriated husbands, the cultural pressures some face remain sufficiently great that many will continue turning to hymenoplasty to restore the semblance of chastity. Many times, however, the ruse may all be for naught: Saint-Leger notes notes that 30% to 40% of both original and reconstructed hymens fail to produce the virginity-confirming bleeding when ruptured by penetration, anyway.

modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence

Once lost, virginity can never be replaced — but modern medicine now offers women a near-perfect physical simulation of their lost innocence...

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McWhore is an anonymous woman who has worked in the sex industry in Scotland

high-profile sex blogger, after an "erotic masseuse" known only as Slutty McWhore started writing a column for The Skinny magazine, a youth street paper that has set itself on a collision course with anti-prostitution groups after the announcement that it would be dedicating an entire issue to sex workers.McWhore is an anonymous woman who has worked in the sex industry in Scotland and America,Women's groups are already lining up to attack the column, which they accuse of "normalising" the sex trade and bolstering the arguments for its legalisation.The Skinny's new columnist, a women in her early-30s who is currently living in America, said: "The Skinny blog is a place for me to educate, or at least inform, people about the nature of the job and bust some of the myths and stereotypes about sex workers.<br />"I want it to reflect my experience of ambivalence about the industry. I don't like sex-worker bloggers who describe sex work as empowering', but I also hate the radical feminists who think that women like me are poor, f******-up victims. It's such a grey area, and this is what I want my blog to reflect."She added: "Sex work - or writing about it, at least - has totally boosted my confidence and self-esteem as a woman."The Skinny's next issue will be dedicated to promulgating its liberal stance on prostitution, promoted by a section of its paper that used to be called LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Transexual and Bisexual) but is now called Deviance - a move that was controversial in itself.Rupert Thomson, its editor, said the magazine was dedicated to creating a "social effect". He said: "It's important to support sex workers because they are routinely denied a voice and others consistently insist on speaking for them. It's a typical irony that those who think they know what's best for sex workers tend to advocate laws that are damaging to them. We want to initiate conversation."The sex industry splits opinion drastically, which reflects the fact there's a lot at stake and there are no easy answers, and we thought the supporting voice needed a greater airing. We want to promote a positive sexual attitude all round."Its stance directly contradicts the current orthodoxy, which hinges on the assumption that prostitution is a form of violence against women, instead favouring an approach that considers the relaxation of current laws.Thomson continued: "They say it's the oldest profession, and you've got to think at least some of those transactions weren't abusive."Jan Macleod, from Glasgow Women's Support, worried that the blog would perpetrate the "male fantasy of the happy hooker", a woman who enters sex work voluntarily and enjoys her work.Research conducted by her group - passionate advocates of strong laws on prostitution, including those passed last year that criminalise the men that buy sex - indicates women in the sex industry only report positive experiences 9% of the time, most of which correspond with the handing over of money.She said: "I don't get the argument that suggests because prostitution worked out for one woman, it should be legalised. The opposite is true. The fact that a very small number of women come out of it with money and a decent level of life in no way makes up for the fact the life expectancy of most sex workers is severely shortened by their work."However, there is a clamour in parts of Scotland for a more liberal stance on sex work. George Lewis, co-chair of ScotPep (Scottish Prostitutes Education Project), a group set up to promote "health and dignity in prostitution", said: "Any informed debate is healthy. In the case of The Skinny, where its readers may be the policy-makers of the future, it is particularly important.""The next battle will be on the issue of criminalising the purchase of sex," he added.

McWhore is an anonymous woman who has worked in the sex industry in Scotland

high-profile sex blogger, after an "erotic masseuse" known only as Slutty McWhore started writing a column for The Skinny magazine...

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"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex."

"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex." "It's not that I don't love my husband. I want to spend time with him but it's simply that daily life is exhausting," working mom Angela Cox added. <br />Gynecologist and sex therapist Dr. Maureen Whelihan said she hears that from women every day. They're wiped out and so is their sex drive. Whelihan said, "It just sounds like so much work so they'd rather not." So why after a long tiring day at work are men "ready for love" and women are not? "Because sex for men is a stress reliever while sex for women requires stress relief," Whelihan explained. <br />And stress relief is something that women are often missing. Working, caring for children, cooking and cleaning can leave them feeling not only exhausted but also unappreciated and resentful. "You can't mention enough the grudges women are holding. Their angry thoughts that they think they are expected to do too much and not being recognized by their partner," Whelihan said. There's a simple solution according to Whelihan. It's something she recommends to her sex therapy couples. <br />Step one: Men should take over the wife's household duties two nights a week. <br />Petrella said, "Definitely. If you're freed up from those responsibilities I think you're a little perkier at the end of the day." On their night off, Whelihan recommends women exercise, have a glass of wine, read a book or do something that relaxes them. "What my husband and I will do occasionally is when I get home before him, I will sit in his recliner and he'll wait on me. And those are good nights," working mom Laura Masiello said. <br />Step two: If possible, plan a date night and send the kids to grandma's or a friend's. <br />"They tell me every day: 'I'm just waiting for that knock on the door.' So it needs to be a night that women know that there are no children coming home," Whelihan said. <br />Step three: Guys, set the mood. "Really what women want is passion. They want to be touched non-sexually initially," Whelihan explained. Working mom Carol Romanelli said, "Seduction. I'm tired but you can seduce me into it ... very easily!" <br />Light some candles, turn on the music and remember why you fell in love in the first place. <br />"It sounds corny to the guy and 'Why do I have to go through all this?' But five minutes of that means a world to your partner," Whelihan said. "Just a touch that's a non-sexual touch that just says, I'm here to relax you. It will always lead to the road that you want. You just have to get it going that way." <br />In addition to fatigue, hormonal changes, medications and depression can also lead to low desire, Whelihan said.

"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex."

"A woman needs to feel appreciated to have sex. A man feels appreciated when he gets sex." "It's not that I don't lov...

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Cyberdildonics technology integrates telepresence and sex, transmitting or receiving the physical sensation of "touch" across a network

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Cyberdildonics technology integrates telepresence and sex, transmitting or receiving the physical sensation of "touch" across a network

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Women in a loving relationship aren't as conscious of penis size as men.

JUST about every man would like his penis to be that extra inch or so bigger. <br />Men have always tended to eye each other up nervously when they get the opportunity but the anxieties have probably got worse now that Internet pornography and sex videos are so much more widely available. The men in those are specially selected just because they are exceptionally large, and so blokes get the feeling that is the norm when actually it is abnormal. That said, though, a very few men do have cause for concern because they never developed properly. Statistics for penis size vary but the latest reliable research is that the greater proportion of penises are usually around 5 cm/2 inches long when soft and range from 11.5 cm/4.6 inches to 15cm/nearly 6 inches when erect, with the average being 13 cm/5.2 inches – about the size of a large tube of toothpaste, as someone pointed out. You shouldn't feel too bad if you notice that other men seem much larger than you when you see them in the showers or changing rooms. For one thing, willies do tend to average out in size when it matters - that is erect - and you should bear in mind that, when you see other men's tackle, you're seeing them from a different angle - you're looking across at theirs and down at your own, which has a foreshortening effect. <br />And don't forget that your penis is very clever, and shrinks upwards and presses itself close up against the body for warmth and safety when you're anxious or cold - as in that changing room. You will probably get a more cheering view of your equipment if you try looking at yourself, when you're warm and relaxed at home, in a full-length mirror, which is how others see you. Even if you do still worry you're on the small side, it really won't spoil your love life - or your partner's satisfaction. Women in a loving relationship aren't as conscious of penis size as men. In fact, too large a penis causes women far more serious concerns than a small one. When I do hear from men who say women have laughed at the size of their penis, in almost every case it is because they were having casual sex with women who barely knew them, and certainly weren’t in love with them. Casual sex is all about judging each other by physique and performance, not intensity of feelings - nor even quality of sex. What really makes a good lover isn't size below the belt but how sensitive and sensuous, informed and imaginative you are. Your hands, mouth and whole body matter as much if not more than your penis, and women get the most exciting sensations, not through the vagina itself but through the clitoris, which you stimulate with your hands, mouth or groin, not your penis. If your partner complains of lack of sensation, it may well be that she has a problem, nothing to do with your anatomy. In which case, suggest she write to me and I'll help her sort it out. If it is your loving that is at fault, then it's not that you need to grow an extra inch but that you need to develop more skills and sensitivity as a lover. Choose deep-penetration positions or those where the vagina is “closed off” a bit. Go for entering from behind, or her on top but leaning backwards – anything which alters the slant of the vagina will make you feel larger to her and increase sensation. In the missionary position, put a pillow under her bottom and suggest she keep her thighs pressed close together with your legs outside hers. Thrust hard and deep – though check with her before and after to make sure she’s enjoying the sensation. If you tend to climax quickly, masturbate often. All penises have roughly the same number of nerve endings in the head. If yours is small, this means it’s going to be more sensitive. The more you masturbate the less sensitive you’ll become, and so less liable to suffer from premature ejaculation, especially if you practice controlling your climax while you’re doing it – explained in more detail in my leaflet on Self-help for Premature Ejaculation. Go for variety. If you’ve made her orgasm through oral sex, masturbation and given her a wonderful sensual massage, you take the main focus off intercourse, which eases the pressure for both of you. Most women find it difficult to reach orgasm through intercourse alone, so she’ll be happy with the change in emphasis. <br />If you're still worried, you may wonder about pills, creams and gadgets which are advertised to boost penis size. Basically, none of them work in any significant and permanent way. <br />At best you can waste a lot of time and money. At worst, you could even damage yourself. The vast majority of men are best advised to accept themselves as they are. <br />Your penis is just one, very human, part of you. Learn to love it.

Women in a loving relationship aren't as conscious of penis size as men.

JUST about every man would like his penis to be that extra inch or so bigger. Men have always tended to eye each other up nervously when the...

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Sex and the Internet were top 10 choices for women to make them happy

“Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful interactions with others,” <br /><br />Sex and the Internet were top 10 choices for women to make them happy, but enjoying a family meal and playing with pets or children ranked much higher. Eating comfort food scored in the top 10 for both sexes, but the more discerning men questioned said they preferred great food and wine or drinking with friends to reaching for the chocolate. Despite the notion, shopping does not make all women happy - only 30 per cent were happiest when shopping for new clothes, shoes or accessories, the study found. One in two women said reading a good book made them happy whereas less than one in three men said the same, and 36 per cent of generous-natured women said buying gifts made them feel joyful, compared to a miserly 19 per cent of men. <br />The index was compiled by marketing consultants The Leading Edge who spoke to more than 8500 Australians aged between 18 and 64.

Sex and the Internet were top 10 choices for women to make them happy

“Australians are made happy on a week-to-week basis, not by possessions and achievements, but by entertaining experiences and by meaningful ...

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Young female virgins are increasingly turning to male prostitutes for a "clinical" way of dealing with their first sexual experience

Young female virgins are increasingly turning to male prostitutes for a "clinical" way of dealing with their first sexual experience, Australian sex industry workers have revealed to ninemsn. The women, mainly aged in their late teens to early 20s, are paying upwards of $250 per hour for male "escorts" to deflower them. Global Escorts owner and founder Berney told ninemsn his Melbourne agency had noticed an increase in the number of female virgins seeking their escort services over the last five years. "They're younger ladies who tell us they're virgins … they want to do it gently and clinically," he said.

Young female virgins are increasingly turning to male prostitutes for a "clinical" way of dealing with their first sexual experience

Young female virgins are increasingly turning to male prostitutes for a "clinical" way of dealing with their first sexual experien...

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new study has revealed that fat ladies have more sex than females with "normal weight”.

New study has revealed that fat ladies have more sex than females with "normal weight”. <br />Oregon and Hawaiian researchers have found that a woman’s weight does not seem to affect sexual behaviour. Led by Dr Bliss Kaneshiro, an assistant professor at the School of Medicine at the University of Hawaii, and Oregon State University professor Marie Harvey, the study was based on data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth that looked at sexual behaviour of more than 7,000 women. <br />In earlier studies it was Kaneshiro observed that obese and overweight women have a higher risk of unintended pregnancy than do normal weight women.

new study has revealed that fat ladies have more sex than females with "normal weight”.

New study has revealed that fat ladies have more sex than females with "normal weight”. Oregon and Hawaiian researchers have found that...

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What's the Sex in the City Festival?

Sex in the City Festival, which takes place Saturday, Nov. 15, at 7:30 p. m. at the Blind Beggar (106-5211 Macleod Trail SW). Centre Stage caught up with Lane Friday.<br />Q: What's the Sex in the City Festival?<br />A: The Sex in the City Festival is a big celebration of women and raunch. What's going to happen is that the doors (at the Blind Beggar) open (at 7:30 p. m.), and every woman gets to pick her own stripper name. And (then), they're going to wear that for the rest of the night, so they become that person, so they don't have to be themselves. We're going to premiere a one-woman show called They're Just Not That Into Me, about being single in Calgary, and then after that, we're premiering a mockumentary film called No Sex in the City, that was filmed here in Calgary. After that, (playwright and actor) Carrie Schiffler is going to come up on the stage. She runs Dance4Play, and she's going to teach all the women how to exotic dance. We also have sex toy booths and different trade show booths going on throughout the night, so people can purchase different sex toys and erotic things and also, if the women want, they can have their own stripper photo done.

What's the Sex in the City Festival?

Sex in the City Festival, which takes place Saturday, Nov. 15, at 7:30 p. m. at the Blind Beggar (106-5211 Macleod Trail SW). Centre Stage c...

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There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams.

There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams. But how long can these work in place of the real thing? As sexual beings we need physical contact. We can’t depend on masturbating to web images of the person we love for months at a time and not crave some genuine personal contact. Touch is an extremely important element in human relationships. Plus, phone sex can be really awkward. I tried having phone sex with a friend once when I was 14 and it was both weird and hilarious. “Weird” and “hilarious” are not words that should be associated with anything sexual, unless that’s what you’re going for. Webcams can be weird too. Watching yourself on camera can be strange and impersonal. In fact, it can be downright uncomfortable for some people. When two people live in the same place there are basic worries about temptation and cheating, so living away from your significant other, never really knowing what they’re doing, only adds more to that paranoia and stress. Plus, not being around your boyfriend or girlfriend for long periods of time can often give your eyes time to wander. Your significant other isn’t here, but this other really great person is. What do you do? Are long distance relationships really worth all the stress? It depends on the state of the relationship to begin with. So far I’ve been heavily bashing long distance relationships, but if you find someone you really love then I guess it's natural to want to make it work regardless of where they go. If you are set on making your long distance relationship work, both parties definitely have to put in a lot of effort and set guidelines. First, make sure you and your boyfriend /girlfriend are on the same page about the Facebook status of your relationship. Is it open, dating, serious, engaged, complicated? Make sure you both understand how the other feels about the commitment level of the relationship. <br />Make sure you talk to your number one everyday, in some way. Whether it’s a long phone call, a chat on MSN Messenger, or a quick e-mail, try to keep in contact with them in order to maintain a sense of connectedness. Try to visit as much as you can. <br />Most importantly, know when it’s just not working. Break-ups are tough in any relationship, but can be especially hard in the long distance situation. When all your conversations become one-sided, arguments become frequent, and the entire relationship just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's probably time to re-evaluate. Being in a long distance relationship is a big commitment and can be emotionally trying. Before you enter into one, weigh the pros and cons and consider whether it’s something you, and your partner, are ready for.

There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams.

There’s phone sex, cyber sex, text messaging, and webcams. But how long can these work in place of the real thing? As sexual beings we need ...

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CYBER SEX WARNING

An anonymous girl lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in the partying and the wildness college life has to offer. Jen being the computer science major that she is does however have a lot of work to do on her computer so when she's not out having a good time, she's working her but off designing computer programs and installing software. One day, soon after she had broken up with her boyfriend, she was home alone on a Friday night for the first time in the three years they had been dating. She was sad alone and depressed, so she decided to make a new homepage. She was playing on the net when she decided to get onto a chat line, being the wild psycho she is she decided to get onto a sex line. So Jen got onto a sex chat line and started playing around on it. Over the line, she met a guy who identified himself as Jeremy, she started playing with him, she gave a false name, saying her name was "Katie" and started getting into detail about what she would like to do to him with her tongue. He responded by telling her to picture being naked while his hands ran over every square inch of her body. Soon they were having cybersex. This went on for awhile, and then she got off the line agreeing to meet him back on the line the following night. Saturday night rolls around, and Jen is on the line with Jeremy again, they become even closer this night, so they continue like this for a week. At the end of the week, they started talking about other things, and got into very intimate issues and feelings. They became close, exchanging their lives, Jen didn't tell Jeremy she was in college, because she was afraid of sounding like an immature college girl. She felt guilty, but after a few weeks, she really liked this guy. <br />This went on the two of them like this for months, and months turned into a year. By the end of the year they had exchanged the most intimate thoughts, and yet had never even spoken on the phone. They were afraid of ruining the mystery. They had done everything sexually possible over the net, they were affectionate as well, waiting for the day that they could some day be together. They finally decided they had had enough. They wanted to meet each other, they were in love and they had to meet. They didn't care about age or looks or anything but each other. Jeremy told Jen he thought she could be his next wife. Jen was weary at first but decided she didn't care how old he was or how ugly she loved him, he was the only one she could feel comfortable with. so...they planned a trip to meet in Vail, Colorado. They were going to spend the weekend together and finally meet. Jen didn't want the hassle of having to find him, so she said, why don't you just get the room and we'll meet in the room that way there will be no mistake. Jeremy agreed. Jen showed up at the resort first, and checked into the room telling the desk lady to hold the key for the next party, so she went into the room. She wanted things to be special so she lit some candles, put on some music. She stripped naked and climbed into the bed under the covers, deciding to surprise Jeremy when he got there. The time soon came, the lights were out, the mood was right, and she heard a key in the door. She heard someone walk in and around the corner and she whispered, "Jeremy". Jeremy said, "Katie?" (this was the false name she had given him.) Yes she said, so he fumbled for the light, and turned it on to see Jen on the bed naked before him. Then next thing heard around the world were two blood curling screams. Jen covered herself up, and with her most humiliating voice said, "dad?" and Jeremy said, "JEN!!!"

CYBER SEX WARNING

An anonymous girl lets call her Jen, is a junior in college attending school in Colorado, like all college students, she is wrapped up in th...

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Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildoniclovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp.

lovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp. Whether a mile down the road or completely across the globe, lovers are delighting in the Internet’s version of sexual intimacy, which seems to know no end.Long-distance relationships used to be such a drag. While nothing can replace the joys of real human touch, technology is making it a lot easier — and racier — to love from afar. Tech sex can keep you pining for each other and ready for action at a moment’s notice, and quite literally at that.<br />Heated sex play used to consist of shooting instant messages to one another, piquing one another's interest in chatrooms or wooing each other in online interactive worlds. Suddenly, Internet-enabled sex toys are all the rage.Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildonics, combines sex with telepresence (the experience of being “present” in a real-time, real-world situation regardless of where you’re physically located). This realistic virtual sex involves sex toys that can be controlled for your pleasure via your computer over the World Wide Web. All you have to do is download the sex toy’s software, then plug the device into your computer, and you’re in business.Lovers can then log onto the ‘net and relish in controlling each other’s toys remotely. This typically involves controlling the vibrations of faux genitalia. A popular combination of this is the Interactive Fleshlight and Sinulator.The Interactive Fleshlight is a sleeve (for the guys) that is compatible with the name brand Sinulator wireless vibrator. The Sinulator connects to any Windows computer with an Internet connection. While the male plays with the Fleshlight, vibrations are sent through the Sinulator to his female counterpart.<br />These products, as well as similar devices, also contain gadgets that allow lovers to adjust the virtual sex to a rhythm of their liking. Really tech-savvy partners may want to go all out, hooking up their Webcams or using instant messaging to add an audio component.Adventurous lovers are finding that tech sex is changing their relationships for the better. This mode of sex is great in that:<br />It enables lovers to stay in touch with the objects of their affection, as in practically in touch.Online sex communication makes in-person, offline sex talks that much easier.<br />People are exploring new sexual frontiers, piquing each other’s interest as they amp up their sexual fantasies and erotic stories as never before.<br />Now, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that such sex play is not everyone’s cup of tea. I can appreciate its benefits, but I'm a slave to my computer. Getting me in the mood involves getting me away from my PC. Luckily, for those of us up for technological inspirations of a different sort, there are other options.<br />Your cell phone can offer you more than the buzz of its vibrating ring option. Vibrators are now available that work wirelessly with your cell phone. When you call your lover, or vice versa, the vibrator is activated, triggering a patterned, vibrating sequence for the duration of your conversation.<br />Other cell phone vibrators depend on text messaging. Sex partners can engage in some solo pleasuring, titillating each other with scintillating IMs. Lovers wear the wireless, bullet vibrator over their favorite hot spots. The gadget is activated when you receive a text message.While some of these devices may seem a bit far out, they can be well worth your “sexperimentation,” taking you beyond the physical and virtual. Given the amount of intimacy people share, Internet sex enthusiasts claim it can be quite the emotional and mental experience.Who knows? You may find yourself aroused as you’ve never known before.

Teledildonics, also known as cyberdildoniclovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp.

lovers are going at it day and night — whenever they’ve recovered from the last realistic virtual sex romp. Whether a mile down the road or ...

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Obsessed with sex and awash with pornography

<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfk8474fRk6fiBqgPCLiW3F2CRPIrB8YyrWl3HzX03ZRWYWAsCqSc6qN_CcM2bAyubGDi_yOAR8LSCIzaFPk1UCmv2jg8kPC-gJoYZP37IVETVOxxu74WkXliiXcUpXNRw7y-0zFVPQQ/s1600-h/cybersmooch460.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268325230761347522" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfk8474fRk6fiBqgPCLiW3F2CRPIrB8YyrWl3HzX03ZRWYWAsCqSc6qN_CcM2bAyubGDi_yOAR8LSCIzaFPk1UCmv2jg8kPC-gJoYZP37IVETVOxxu74WkXliiXcUpXNRw7y-0zFVPQQ/s400/cybersmooch460.jpg" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 240px;" /></a><br />Profoundly worrying underbelly to Second Life. Far from being a harmless fantasy world, it is a cyber-society where conventional morality has been set aside in favour of a far darker and more worrying pattern of behaviour. Obsessed with sex and awash with pornography, it is a 'place' where the behaviour of some of its 'residents' is so deeply unedifying it beggars belief that it could ever have been hailed as a lighthearted retreat from the real world. So what exactly is Second Life and who uses it? Put simply, it's a computer chat room on steroids. Users log on to an internet site and are then able to communicate with other users around the world. The novelty lies in the fact that communication isn't just verbal. <br />While users chat with one another by tapping in questions and comments on their keyboards, they are also represented on screen by their own virtual character, or avatar.As in a computer game, these characters are controlled by the users via their keyboards - and can be made to walk or fly around the virtual world, the simulated landscape - that is Second Life.

Obsessed with sex and awash with pornography

Profoundly worrying underbelly to Second Life. Far from being a harmless fantasy world, it is a cyber-society where conventional morality ha...

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Try to meet everyone you start corresponding online with within 7 days

It may seem silly, but in order to make sure you don’t waste time sitting across from one loser after the next, here are a few ways to limit the number of freaks you meet and perhaps find a decent guy along the way. <br /><br /><br />Say Cheese Unless you are a professional photographer, make the investment to have your pictures done in a studio with an expert. Lighting can make or break all of us, so an in studio light controlled environment will make you look your best. Unfortunately when we date on-line first visual impression means a whole lot, so spend the money!<br /><br />Stay In The Present Oh, and speaking of pictures, please, oh please, take a present-day one! So much misrepresentation occurs online, especially with regards to appearance. I have no idea why online daters do this– don’t they realize that in the very near future they are actually going to be meeting the person that they correspond with? When someone posts a picture that is 10 years old and they show up to a first date looking that much older, it is not a good thing.<br /><br />Keep It Simple When writing your online profile, please don’t write an online biography! Learn to speak in sound bites. Sound bites, for all of you non-media savvy people, are short sentences that quickly, effectively, and memorably summarize what you are trying to say. A long, drawn out profile will only make you look egotistical. Plus, it’s a great idea to save all of these special facts for a face to face meeting.<br /><br />Lost In Translation Don’t spend a lot of time using the instant messenger feature on these dating sites for deep meaningful conversation. A lot of online daters come down with a touch of what I like to call “Artificial Confidence.” This is when the user develops an overpowering sense of confidence, high self esteem and quick witted humor. This comes from the fact that it is a heck of a lot easier to be courageous, risqué and fun when you’re sitting behind your keyboard in the comfort of your own home. The big challenge is to see if your potential love interest can keep up his Don Juan rhetoric in person.<br /><br />The Seven Day Rule Here is the most important rule of all, Try to meet everyone you start corresponding online with within 7 days. A lot of people online who masquerade as love seekers are only online to get their ego’s stroked through cyber-flirting with no intention of sitting face to face with the person they are corresponding with. The “cyber-affair” is empty and ultimately a big waste of time.<br /><br />Up Close And Personal Arrange all of your online first face to face dates during the day at comfortable coffee shops that are close to your home. Plan to take a weekend and meet all of your love prospects on Saturday and Sunday afternoon of the same weekend. Schedule accordingly with 20 minute travel time between meeting places. Do not spend more than 45 minutes getting to know them. You will look like you have a life if you don’t sit there all afternoon. Meeting someone in person will give you a concrete idea of who you should pursue and who you should dismiss

Try to meet everyone you start corresponding online with within 7 days

It may seem silly, but in order to make sure you don’t waste time sitting across from one loser after the next, here are a few ways to limit...

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Sex toys for women ,Sex toys aren’t for everyone, but they do tend to spice up things in the bedroom,and I’m a huge fan of trying everything

Dildos <br />These come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some phallic, others, disturbingly, in the shape of animals, some curved for g-spot stimulation, and others with an extra bit for clitoral stimulation. <br /> It’s best to visit a sex store to determine what is best for you. If it’s your first time, I strongly recommend Venus Envy in Halifax, as they’re very female friendly, and are open to any sort of questions you may have, They also offer workshops. For those of you who aren’t open to shoving something man-made inside of you, there are also vegetable options in the grocery store, zucchini, cucumbers, and maybe an interestingly shaped butternut squash. <br /><br />Vibrators <br />I know this is a general term, but sometimes you just want a simple phallic shaped device (and if not, watch the Sex and the City episode where they talk about the Rabbit vibe). There’s also one promoted by Fantasia parties, lovingly termed the Disco Dick, as it glows in a variety of colours and pulses. In addition, there's the iVibe, but it’s just something you can plug your ipod into so it’ll pulse along to the music. <br /> There are many many options out there, and it’s best to visit a sex store (Venus Envy in Halifax, or Xclusive Boutique in Moncton), visit a sex toy party (http://www.fantasia.ca), or look online for the best option. <br />Keep in mind that the above list was just the basics, to introduce you to what’s out there, I strongly encourage you to visit a sex store (if you’re nervous, say you’re doing research for a sex column) or look online for various options. Sex toys aren’t for everyone, but they do tend to spice up things in the bedroom, and I’m a huge fan of trying everything at least once.

Sex toys for women ,Sex toys aren’t for everyone, but they do tend to spice up things in the bedroom,and I’m a huge fan of trying everything

Dildos These come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some phallic, others, disturbingly, in the shape of animals, some curved for g-spot stim...

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Janet and her husband started swinging seven years, they had rules governing the various permutations of what they would do, and with whom.

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Janet and her husband started swinging seven years, they had rules governing the various permutations of what they would do, and with whom.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

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Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett Do the Cyber Sex Thing

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Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett Do the Cyber Sex Thing

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I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame

I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame for their ordeal. <br />I’m assuming most of the students who made this very depressing announcement are male. Please correct me if I’m wrong. I narrowly missed becoming the victim of a group attack myself, many years ago. I was walking home with a female friend from a disco, both of us wearing full-length coats, as was the fashion of the time. We were not dressed provocatively or acting provocatively in any way whatsoever. A car full of drunken young men drove past, slowed down, reversed and began to shout the most obscene things at the pair of us. We were both terrified but made no reply. A few minutes later the car stopped and the occupants got out and came staggering towards us. At this point we fled into the garden of a nearby house and pretended we lived there, banging loudly on the door. The car sped off but stopped a little way up the road and waited: watching to see if we would be admitted to the house. <br />We felt we were being hunted down like animals. With nobody from the house coming to our aid and no handy mobile phone to call the police, we feared we were about to be seriously assaulted. Or worse. In the end we hid behind some shrubs and prayed for a miracle. The men came into the garden but they did not find us. They left, swearing loudly. A few minutes later we took our chances and fled home. After that I never went to another disco without booking a reliable taxi home first, and I always left the venue 30 minutes before the end of the night. Would I have been to blame that night if I’d become a victim of rape? I don’t think so. And neither is any woman or girl. Everyone knows full well that a bit of tipsy flirting is not a guarantee of sex. Nor is a tight-fitting frock or a pair of high heels. If men cannot be blamed for finding such things irresistible then what is their excuse when they rape elderly women, or young children, or peasant women in dowdy rags or humble housewives in shabby tracksuits? I am appalled that anyone thinks it is a woman’s fault if she is raped. Was it the fault of that poor woman from Lithuania who was abducted from a Northern Ireland pub, drugged and raped by an evil gang who fully intended to deliver her into a nightmare life of forced prostitution? Are the illegal brothels here running out of drug-addicts or something? I mean, if we women are just desperate for rough sex with strangers all the time, you’d think there would be no need to drug and rape new prostitutes to get them started in the sex industry. I never, but never, thought I would agree with the extreme right on anything. But I’m beginning to think we should bring back hanging. <br />I’m sorry but I’m heartily terrified by the endless headlines about violent rape, child sex abuse, domestic violence, casual murder on our streets, the commonplace terrorising of our senior citizens and the modern scourge of drug-dealing. I’m sick of terrorists defending the slaughter of the innocents. I’m sick of women being treated as somehow culpable in their own rape. Would any woman seriously want to be so badly hurt and degraded that she later commits suicide? I am disgusted by the results of this so-called survey. <br />The Permissive Society was never meant to be a promise of sex-on-demand for any boozed-up male on the prowl. It was never meant to be the end of dignity and respect for girls and women everywhere. It was simply meant to be the end of treating women as chattels, and thus allowing them to choose their own lovers and husbands. Instead of being kept under lock-and-key in their father’s house and then handed over to be married to the first decent suitor that came along. So now, at long last, I have something in common with George Dubya Bush: Yes, I do support the death penalty. And if any man or men were to brutally and deliberately hurt someone close to me, I’d have no trouble in pulling the lever myself. Or whatever it is you have to do to hang a man these days. So there it is, guys. Are you shocked? Maybe you think any woman who is raped deserves everything she gets. But as far as I’m concerned, hanging is too good for the rapists. So there.

I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame

I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame f...

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YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation

YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation, the latest research from the Crisis Pregnancy Agency has found.Caroline Spillane, director of the agency, said that, despite the growing confidence of young women, there was still a reluctance to be seen to be ready for sex.She said young women were worried that if they produced condoms then they were perceived to be "easy"."That's a huge problem," she said. "It's probably going back to gender norms, and how women are supposed to behave. If I am seen to be ready for sex in this way, does it have an impact on my reputation?"The research also found that men were more worried about contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) than about an unplanned pregnancy.Ms Spillane said the prospect of an STD seemed more immediate to men while a crisis pregnancy could be seen as "more of a woman's problem. There is a cohort of men who are indifferent to unplanned pregnancy," she said.There has been a major increase in sexually transmitted infections in recent years, with the highest rate found in the 20-29 age group.The Well Woman centres have seen a five-fold increase in the number of people attending for sexually transmitted infection screening since 2002. The number of people testing positive for chlamydia rose by 11 per cent last year.Ms Spillane said the agency also found that alcohol was not the main factor in an unplanned pregnancy. "It is a factor but not the key factor. The key factor is the unplanned and opportunistic nature of sex. If you have the opportunity to have sex, you will take it," she said.She was speaking yesterday as the agency introduced a new "Think Contraception" campaign which encourages consistent use of contraception among young adults.<br />The campaign with the logo "Nobody else is going to do the thinking for you" is primarily aimed at the 18-24 age group and involves television, radio and online advertising, posters, leaflets and a website (www.thinkcontraception.ie)."We want to ensure that sexually active young adults plan for and consistently use contraception every time they have sex," said Enda Saul, programmes and communications manager. "We want both men and women to feel that contraception is a shared responsibility."Research commissioned by the agency has found that 26 per cent of 18-25 year olds do not consistently use contraception during sex. It also found that 28 per cent of women who had been pregnant had experienced a crisis pregnancy at some stage.Last week's Budget announced the merging of the agency into the HSE. Katharine Bulbulia, agency chairwoman, did not criticise the move. "The important part of this announcement is that the agency will continue its important work to address the issue of crisis pregnancy in Ireland," she said.

YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation

YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation, the latest research from the Crisis ...

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58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep

new survey says women would prefer sleep while men would prefer sex with that extra hour we get by setting back the clock this weekend. But it reinforces gender stereotypes and "doesn't help couples," says a Vancouver sex therapist. <br /><br />The survey, conducted by an advocacy group for mattress manufacturers, found that 55 per cent of women would prefer to get more sleep with that extra hour compared to only 31 per cent of men. <br /><br />It also found that nearly 57 per cent of men would prefer to be having sex in that extra hour compared to only 32 per cent of women. Nevermind that most men probably couldn't last the hour. But could it be that women really would prefer to sleep? <br />"I think that a survey like this really doesn't help couples," Pega Ren, a Vancouver sex therapist, told CTV.ca. "I think it enforces the stereotype that women do not desire sex and that men are always the aggressors. That women have something that men want and that women don't particularly want to give it to them." <br />"If you say to me, you have an extra hour in your life on a Saturday night, would you rather have an extra hour of sex or an extra hour of sleep, I may well say, give me the sleep, it's a Saturday night," Ren said. "But if you said to me, we're going to send you off to the hot spring and we're going to take care of the babysitter and we're going to give you an extra $50 on the room, now what's your answer, I may have a very different answer for you." <br />The online survey was conducted by Leger Marketing for the Better Sleep Council Canada, a group that promotes "the value that a better quality mattress and foundation can bring when regularly replaced within the sleep environment." <br />No surprise, then, that the survey found that 58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep, compared to 43 per cent of men. And 62 per cent of respondents said a better bed would improve their quality of sleep and one quarter said a better bed would improve their sex life. <br />"I've had the same mattress for years and when I want a better sleep I flip the mattress," Ren said. Ren said such surveys shut down avenues of communication between couples, who should really be talking about the factors that may influence their sex-versus-sleep preferences. "It makes it difficult for us to talk about these things because we assume that the answers are pre-determined," Ren said. "They're not."

58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep

new survey says women would prefer sleep while men would prefer sex with that extra hour we get by setting back the clock this weekend. But ...

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As a sex, we're not the best communicators when it comes to talking to the women in our lives. I know I'm not - but I'm much better when I have a pen

The ‘Chasing Cars' frontman has admitted he uses his song-writing talents to express his feelings about the opposite sex.He said: "I think I write honestly about what goes on in a guy's mind, and girls are interested in that."As a sex, we're not the best communicators when it comes to talking to the women in our lives. I know I'm not - but I'm much better when I have a pen and paper in my hand."<br />Earlier this month, the band admitted they "set stuff on fire" while making their new album 'A Hundred Million Suns'.Gary - who claims their new LP is the band's first "happy" record - said:"We tried every available instrument and approach. From various levels of water in wine glasses to setting stuff on fire."It's important to love your instrument, but it's also important to set it on fire."

As a sex, we're not the best communicators when it comes to talking to the women in our lives. I know I'm not - but I'm much better when I have a pen

The ‘Chasing Cars' frontman has admitted he uses his song-writing talents to express his feelings about the opposite sex.He said: "...

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Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia.

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia. And earlier this year, relationship counselling service Relate said there had been a huge increase in the number of cases concerning sexual compulsive behaviour. Sex therapists would argue it is a real addiction with serious consequencesBut others in psychiatry and psychotherapy argue it is not comparable to substance addiction and should not be classed as such Now Lord Laidlaw, 65, says he has been fighting the "disease" for the whole of his adult life. So are so-called sex addicts suffering from an illness or just making excuses for being unfaithful? <br />It's a very serious addiction, says Paula Hall, who runs a group therapy course for "sex addicts" in Warwickshire, and it's believed about one in 20 people suffer from it. Although not a chemical addiction like alcohol or heroin, it's a "process addiction" like gambling, she says, with a biochemical element linked to the release of dopamine in the brain. "It's a compulsive need to seek out and follow a certain type of sexual behaviour. That behaviour varies but it's basically an anaesthetising behaviour, something you are doing in order to avoid dealing with something else. <br />"It's a coping mechanism and it's totally and entirely out of control. You are continuing to pursue it in spite of the consequences, like losing your job, your status, your wife and your health." It's not really about sex. It's driven by shame Addicts are usually men and they are of any age, she says, and from any background. The behaviour ranges from viewing online porn for a few hours a day, which is usually a starting point and then escalates, to visiting prostitutes at every opportunity. "It's a way of escaping from low self-esteem, feelings of anger and insecurity. It's not really about sex. It's driven by shame. "You feel about yourself and one way to stop feeling bad about yourself is to do something nice, but afterwards you feel even worse about yourself."

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia.

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia. And earlier this year, relationship counselling ...

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Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday. "The internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors," Layden said. "To have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children know how to use it better than grown-ups know how to use it -- it's a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind." Pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since coke users can get the drug out of their system, but pornographic images stay in the brain forever, Layden said. Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist and advisor to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality echoed Layden's concern about the internet and the somatic effects of pornography. "Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance," Satinover said. "That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can't do, in effect." The internet is dangerous because it removes the inefficiency in the delivery of pornography, making porn much more ubiquitous than in the days when guys in trench coats would sell nudie postcards, Satinover said. Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kansas), the subcommittee's chairman, called the hearing the most disturbing one he'd ever seen in the Senate. Brownback said porn was ubiquitous now, compared to when he was growing up and "some guy would sneak a magazine in somewhere and show some of us, but you had to find him at the right time."

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to ...

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'In Korea, it seems to be primarily gaming sites. In America, it seems to be Facebook. It's porn, it's games, it's gambling, it's chatting with friend

Robert Freedman, editor of the American Journal of Psychiatry, said expressions of the addiction could be diverse. 'In Korea, it seems to be primarily gaming sites. In America, it seems to be Facebook. It's porn, it's games, it's gambling, it's chatting with friends. All these things existed before, but now they're a lot easier.'Tense? Angry? Can't get online? Internet addiction is now a serious public health issue that should be officially recognised as a clinical disorder, according to a leading psychiatrist.Excessive gaming, viewing online pornography, emailing and text messaging have been identified as causes of a compulsive-impulsive disorder by Dr Jerald Block, author of an editorial for the respected American Journal of Psychiatry. Block argues that the disorder is now so common that it merits inclusion in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the profession's primary resource to categorise and diagnose mental illnesses. He says internet addiction has four main components: Excessive use, often associated with a loss of sense of time or a neglect of basic drives; Withdrawal, including feelings of anger, tension and/or depression when the computer is inaccessible;The need for better computers, more software, or more hours of use;<br />Negative repercussions, including arguments, lying, poor achievement, social isolation and fatigue.A primary case study is South Korea, which has the greatest use of broadband in the world. Block points out that 10 people died from blood clots from remaining seated for long periods in internet cafes and another was murdered because of an online game. Their country now 'considers internet addiction one of its most serious public health issues'. The government estimates that around 210,000 South Korean children are affected and in need of treatment, of whom 80 per cent might need drugs targeting the brain and nearly a quarter could need to go to hospital. Since the average high school pupil there spends about 23 hours per week gaming, Block notes, another 1.2 million are believed to be at risk of addiction and require basic counselling. There has been alarm over a rising number of addicts dropping out of school or quitting their jobs to spend more time on computers. In China it has been reported that 13.7 per cent of adolescent internet users, about 10 million, could be considered addicts.Block, a psychiatrist at the Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, writes that the extent of the disorder is more difficult to estimate in America because people tend to surf at home instead of in internet cafes. But he believes there are similar cases, concluding: 'Unfortunately internet addiction is resistant to treatment, entails significant risks and has high relapse rates.' He told The Observer that he did not believe specific websites were responsible. 'The relationship is with the computer,' he said. 'First, it becomes a significant other to them. Second, they exhaust emotions that they could experience in the real world on the computer, through any number of mechanisms: emailing, gaming, porn. Third, computer use occupies a tremendous amount of time in their life. Then if you try to cut the cord in a very abrupt fashion, they've lost essentially their best friend. That can take the form of depression or rage.'<br />Harry Husted, a single 51-year-old from New York, spends 16 hours a day on the internet. He insists that he is not addicted, but admits that he used to be. 'I used to work with computers for eight hours, then get home and go online for seven hours. I would stay up till two or three in the morning until I got so sleepy I had to go to bed. I wouldn't go out to get the groceries and I couldn't have cared less about friends, TV, anything. After a while I realised what was happening and did something about it. Now if I use MySpace it's only to advertise my business.'Internet addiction clinics have sprung up around the world in an attempt to wean people off their need for a fix. Many people have turned, apparently without irony, to web discussion boards with names such as Internet Addicts Anonymous. The Centre for Internet Addiction Recovery in Bradford, Pennsylvania, says internet addiction has become a growing legal issue in criminal, divorce and employment cases. It offers a consultation service to lawyers that includes 'assessing the role of electronic anonymity in the development of deviant, deceptive and illegal sexual online activities'.To beat the addiction, he advised: 'A self-help group might be a place to start. Maybe replace an online group with a real one.'

'In Korea, it seems to be primarily gaming sites. In America, it seems to be Facebook. It's porn, it's games, it's gambling, it's chatting with friend

Robert Freedman, editor of the American Journal of Psychiatry, said expressions of the addiction could be diverse. 'In Korea, it seems t...

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Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction, in which large number of people are continuously hooked on to the Internet for hours. new finding will make mental health professionals face a new affliction, besides compulsive gambling or even the 'age-old' smoking and drug addiction. "The problem isn't widespread but we know of serious cases in which teenagers don't leave the house, don't have interpersonal relationships, and have been isolated in front of their computer screen for the past two or three years, and only speak in the language of the characters they play with in network video games," said Louise Nadeau, a professor at the Université de Montréal's Department of Psychology. He added: "In a few years we'll have couples in therapy because the Internet will have become their main occupation." Nadeau is director of the new university institute on addiction that conducts epidemiological studies on addiction, evaluate the services available to patients, guarantee state-of-the-art practices, and document new forms of addiction.

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction, in wh...

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Men with high levels of testosterone are attracted to women with highly feminine faces, a new study suggests.

Men with high levels of testosterone are attracted to women with highly feminine faces, a new study suggests. Eva Longoria, who plays Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives, Evangeline Lilly from the TV drama Lost and the film star Natalie Portman are among those who fit the bill.At the same time women with raised levels of the hormone tend to be drawn to highly masculine men like the James Bond actor Daniel Craig, say the researchers.The study, the first into the role testosterone plays in the attraction of the sexes, involved a series of tests involving 70 women and 30 men in which testosterone levels were measured on each occasion.<br />Levels of the hormone fluctuate in individuals on a daily basis and the researchers found that attitudes changed depending on the testosterone level.<br />The results also suggested an overall preference for women and men with more feminine features, which suggests that the "tall, dark and handsome" stereotype, emphasising macho features, is not after all the most attractive male form.<br />The researchers said people were not always attracted to the same type of face, but would find different people attractive depending on their testosterone levels.<br />A woman might therefore find herself drawn to the masculine Russell Crowe one day, and the more delicately featured Orlando Bloom the next day.<br />Dr Ben Jones, a psychology lecturer at Aberdeen University where the study was conducted, said the results showed that someone's "type" could change quite significantly over time.However, high testosterone levels consistently prompted people to choose "high quality" mates.He added: "When men's testosterone levels were high, they were more attracted to feminine women. When women's testosterone levels were high, they were more attracted to masculine men."Since masculine men and feminine women are thought to produce the healthiest children and sex drive is higher when testosterone levels are also high, these findings suggest that men and women in hormonal states where their interest in sex is highest show stronger attraction to high-quality, or healthy, mates."<br />Participants were asked to complete face preference tests over a period of a month in which they were shown pairs of masculine and feminine faces. They were asked to choose which version of the same face was most attractive.<br />In each session, volunteers also provided a saliva sample which was used to measure testosterone levels.Levels tend to be higher in women at ovulation during the menstrual cycle and therefore they were drawn to masculine men at that point.<br />Participants were shown photos of the opposite sex and the same sex, which revealed that high testosterone levels made no difference to men in terms of the males they rated as attractive.<br />However, women also found masculine women attractive when they had high levels of the hormone. Although Dr Jones said this may also have been because they felt "more negative" about attractive women at the time.<br />The researchers are now planning to study the role of voices and odour in sexual attraction. The facial attractiveness test used by the psychologists is available online at www.faceresearch.org

Men with high levels of testosterone are attracted to women with highly feminine faces, a new study suggests.

Men with high levels of testosterone are attracted to women with highly feminine faces, a new study suggests. Eva Longoria, who plays Gabrie...

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A man who smells good to one woman doesn't necessarily smell good to another. "There is no ' Brad Pitt of smell,

Taking a contraceptive pill messes with Mother Nature in more ways than one, according to a new study by a scientist at the University of Liverpool in England.<br />In its effort to prevent pregnancy, the Pill alters a woman's sense of smell, which is one of the ways she decides, consciously and unconsciously, which men she is attracted to. When on the Pill, she is attracted to men with similar genes, the study revealed. With these men, she is more likely to have a miscarriage or a baby who has a compromised immune system, or suffer from infertility. When she is not on the Pill, her nose tells her to choose men who are genetically dissimilar, which increases her chances of producing a healthy child. It is Survival of the Fittest 101.In the study, which was led by Dr. Craig Roberts, lecturer in evolutionary psychology, 100 women were asked to indicate their preferences of six male body odor samples. Roberts tested women before and after their use of the Pill, which took research one step further from the 1995 study by Claus Wedekind that linked scent to selection by genes."Makes sense," says matchmaker Barbie Adler, president of Chicago-based Selective Search. "We don't usually hear the word 'smell' when people tell us if they like or don't like someone, but that is part of it. Usually, they use the word 'chemistry' or 'intuition.' "The Roberts study helps explain the science behind the intuition, says Rachel Herz, Brown University visiting professor of psychiatry and human behavior and the author of "The Scent of Desire" (William Morrow, $24.95). "Except for identical twins, each of us has a unique set of MHC (major histocompatibility complex) genes, which is the genotype for our immune system," explains Herz. "Our body odor is the external manifestation of this."<br />A man who smells good to one woman doesn't necessarily smell good to another. "There is no ' Brad Pitt of smell,' " says Herz.When people meet potential mates, their noses tell them if they have similar or dissimilar genes and immune systems, according to Herz and Roberts. Mating with someone with similar genes increases the chances of a baby having negative recessive traits such as Tay-Sachs.In terms of hormones, the Pill tells a woman's body she is pregnant. This could explain why women on the Pill choose men who smell like family members, because they could protect her while she is vulnerable. Off the Pill, nature takes over, so she seeks genetically dissimilar mates.The time of month affects a woman's ability to sniff out mates too. Her gene-smelling ability is keenest around ovulation, says Herz, when it exceeds a man's. During menstruation, her ability is less than a man's. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to use sight to locate what their eyes tell them are fertile mates: women with healthy-looking skin and hair and a waist-to-hip ratio of 7:10.The Pill isn't the only way people alter their scent detecting, adds Herz. "Men can mask their odors by wearing, for example, colognes," she says. Does this mean a woman will ditch a man when she discovers his real body odor? Not necessarily, says Herz. "If he has masked his real smell with a strong fragrance such as Axe, and you fall in love with him, and then he later reveals his real smell, it will be positive to you because of your positive feelings for him," she says.Does all this fly in the face of society's definition of eligible men as rich, successful and intelligent? Herz's studies have shown that body odor wins. One of her test respondents said, "If I'm with a guy who smells really good, nothing else about him matters."Yet, Herz offers an explanation of why so many successful men seem to have their choice of women: On average, these men are healthier and not plagued with illness, so their body odor is more likely to be pleasant.<br />"This doesn't necessarily mean that Donald Trump is the right MHC match for model Melania Knauss," writes Herz in her book. "But it does mean that he probably smells better fresh out of the shower than someone his same age whom you meet at the unemployment center."Roberts' study, which brings attention to a field that is ripe for additional studies, raises as many questions as it answers, says Herz. Yes, she says, "I don't like the way he smells" is a common complaint among women in marital counseling. And, she says in her book, infertility clinics report that couples who are MHC-similar have a harder time conceiving.But, are women messing with the future of our race by choosing mates while they are on the Pill? That, says Herz, is what we still don't know.Next up for Roberts, he said in an e-mail, is to study couples' experiences outside of the laboratory. This could tell scientists, he said, the secondary effects "in terms of within-couple infertility and, potentially, on child health and relationship outcomes."Not to mention, he said, the possible "breakdown of relationships when women stop using the contraceptive pill."

A man who smells good to one woman doesn't necessarily smell good to another. "There is no ' Brad Pitt of smell,

Taking a contraceptive pill messes with Mother Nature in more ways than one, according to a new study by a scientist at the University of Li...

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Minutes after having sex with her boyfriend, a 35-year-old woman suffered a stroke, paralysing the left side of her face

Minutes after having sex with her boyfriend, a 35-year-old woman suffered a stroke, paralysing the left side of her face. But she miraculously recovered after therapy.Loyola University Medical Centre doctors attributed the stroke to related factors including birth control pills, a venous blood clot, sexual intercourse and a heart defect. Birth control pills slightly increase the risk of blood clots. Doctors believe a small clot formed in one of the veins in her thigh, broke loose and moved to the right atrium, the heart’s upper right pumping chamber. Normally in such cases, the clot will get pumped out of the right atrium and travel to the lungs, where it may harmlessly dissolve.Pressure changes in the heart, triggered by sex, enabled the clot to travel through the hole from the right atrium to the left. From there, the clot travelled up to the brain. According to Jose Biller, co-author of the report at the department of neurology, Loyola University Chicago Stritch School of Medicine, the woman was taken to a community hospital, then transferred to Loyola. A neuroradiologist inserted a catheter (thin tube) into a groin artery, and guided it up to the spot in the brain where the clot was lodged. Soon the clot began to dissolve. The improvement was immediate and dramatic.The unique case has been described in the Journal of Stroke and Cerebrovascular Disease.

Minutes after having sex with her boyfriend, a 35-year-old woman suffered a stroke, paralysing the left side of her face

Minutes after having sex with her boyfriend, a 35-year-old woman suffered a stroke, paralysing the left side of her face. But she miraculous...

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sexual practices such as multiple partners and anal sex and that both binge drinking and risky sexual behaviours are more hazardous to women than men.

Binge drinkers, defined as having more than five drinks at one time, are more likely to indulge in unsafe sexual practices such as multiple partners and anal sex and that both binge drinking and risky sexual behaviours are more hazardous to women than men.For their study the researchers analyzed the data collected from 671 STD patients being evaluated or treated at a clinic of whom 322 were men and 349 females.<br />The participants were asked a range of questions about their recent alcohol/drug use and risky sexual behaviours using an audio computer-assisted-self interview technology.According to Dr. Heidi E. Hutton, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioural sciences, the study showed that binge drinking among women STD-clinic patients was associated with certain risky sexual behaviours.<br />Dr. Hutton says that women binge drinkers were three times more likely to have anal sex, and twice as likely to have multiple sex partners compared to women who do not drink alcohol. Women binge drinkers were also five times more likely to have gonorrhea as compared to non-drinking women.Dr. Geetanjali Chander, an assistant professor of medicine at Johns Hopkins, says that binge drinking results in a decreased ability to make clear decisions and can enable individuals to engage in behaviours that they would not if sober.Dr. Hutton says the link between binge drinking and risky sexual behavior is complex and there are gender differences, and binge drinking increases the STD risk for women.Dr Chander says while some drink to be less inhibited, less anxious or because they are depressed, expecting alcohol to alleviate their symptoms, many people fail to realise the potential risk or harm that may result from binge drinking.Dr. Chander says gonorrhea is a sexually transmitted disease which reflects unsafe sexual practices and this association between binge drinking and high-risk sexual behaviours is especially important as risky behaviours are associated with HIV acquisition and transmission.<br />Dr. Hutton says that both binge drinking and risky sexual behaviors are more hazardous to women than men and when women and men consume the same amount of alcohol, women will have a higher concentration of alcohol in their system, and substantially greater alcohol-caused impairment than men.<br />Also anatomical differences mean women are at a greater risk than men of contracting some sexually transmitted infections - men transmit some infections to women more efficiently than women do to men - men are eight to 10 times more likely to transmit HIV to a female partner through repeated, unprotected sexual intercourse than women are to transmit the virus to men.The researchers say the gender-specific association between binge drinking and risky behaviors shown in the study calls for more research and they suggest that STD clinics routinely screen for binge drinking.

sexual practices such as multiple partners and anal sex and that both binge drinking and risky sexual behaviours are more hazardous to women than men.

Binge drinkers, defined as having more than five drinks at one time, are more likely to indulge in unsafe sexual practices such as multiple ...

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new study of cervical cancer survivors has challenged commonly held perception of hormones' role in sexual activity

new study of cervical cancer survivors has challenged commonly held perception of hormones' role in sexual activity, after finding that the 'fighters' reported satisfying sex lives following surgical intervention. The study details the sexual experiences of women who presumably had no hormonally-motivated sexual behaviour or interest. Surgical intervention for cervical cancer often involves removing the ovaries, which reduces or eliminates circulating testosterone. The hormone is a factor in both male and female sexual behaviour. "Our findings, which demonstrate the existence of widespread interest and satisfaction with sex in the absence of a crucial hormone underscore the importance of non-hormonal components of sexual interest and satisfaction," said author Howard Greenwald. <br />He added: "That may mean the key to sexual satisfaction is less about biology and more about psychology." He claimed that during the first months and years following treatment for cervical cancer, women often struggle with what they perceive to be assault on their sexual organs and identity. In their study, the researchers found that after six years most women's sexual desire and enjoyment rebounds. The researchers found that more than 80 percent of the cervical cancer survivors reported being sexually active. Whereas, 81.4 percent said they sometimes, almost always or always desired sexual activity and 90.9 percent indicated they enjoyed sexual activity at least some of the time. "This observation is important because the public places so much emphasis on 'hormones' in sex and the pharmaceutical industry is poised to release a whole new generation of hormone-based drugs for female sexuality," said Greenwald. "A person's outlook, relationships and other factors may be just as important, or even more important." After cancer is diagnosed, doctors perform hysterectomies - surgical removal of the uterus - or oophorectomies - removal of one or both ovaries - to treat invasive cervical cancer. <br />The researchers found a difference in sexual interest between these two groupsa nd found that women with hysterectomies were less likely to report a lack of interest in sex compared to the other women. <br />Conversely, women who had oophorectomies were less likely to report they enjoyed sex compared to the other women. Oophorectomies typically affect circulating sexual hormones and results in reduced vaginal lubrication. "The women who've lost their ovaries, and thus the naturally circulating testosterone, are less likely to enjoy sex. However, women who''ve had this ovary-removing procedure are statistically no less likely to be sexually active or more likely to lack sexual desire than women who still have their ovaries," said Greenwald. "These results underscore how important it is to include people who are long-term survivors and to assess their quality of life in terms of their sexuality, their relationships with others, and their ability to be productive members of our society."

new study of cervical cancer survivors has challenged commonly held perception of hormones' role in sexual activity

new study of cervical cancer survivors has challenged commonly held perception of hormones' role in sexual activity, after finding that ...

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1.5 million female condoms will be social-marketed to sex workers in four states this year as India

1.5 million female condoms will be social-marketed to sex workers in four states this year as India, with over 2.5 million HIV/AIDS patients, tries to empower women in its fight against the disease. The National AIDS Control Organisation (NACO) will focus on Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra, West Bengal and Andhra Pradesh with this programme. Sujatha Rao, director general, NACO, said a pilot project introducing female condoms to sex workers in 2007 has been a big success, and hence it was being scaled up about three- fold. <br />Hindustan Latex Ltd (HLL) is manufacturing the female condom for the Indian market through a technology transfer from Female Health Company, London. <br />The condom - the new generation of the product is known as FC2 - will be social-marketed to sex workers through NACO's 200 partner NGOs, which run targeted intervention sites for sex workers. "The product will have 100 per cent coverage in the four states and is expected to benefit a population of 200,000 sex workers," Kavitha Potturi of HLFPPT, the non-profit wing of HLL, said. <br />Women in sex work form a core population for the HIV prevention programme in India. Unprotected sex accounts for over 86 percent of HIV infections in the country. <br />The female condom is the only woman-controlled device currently available to prevent HIV transmission in India. It provides protection against unintended pregnancy as well as sexually transmitted diseases. Female Health Company, which produces the female condom used worldwide, says cost has been a major barrier in making it widely available to women at risk. FC2, the new product, has helped bring down costs. For the first time, FC2 is being manufactured in India by HLL at its plant in Kochi, bringing the per piece cost down to Rs.23 from Rs.45 - the price of the imported product. Under the social marketing programme, sex workers will now buy the female condom for Rs.3 instead of the Rs.5 they spent on it last year. <br />Rao said the programme will be scaled up further as demand increases. "The female condom is still a new product, not so easy to use. The demand for it has to be generated," she said. The female condom aims to cover gaps in condom use by putting more control in women's hands. Women who used the product in the pilot last year said it gives them more power. Many said it helped reduce sexually transmitted infections. Among the six states where the pilot project was conducted, it was most successful in Andhra Pradesh, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and West Bengal, the first three being high HIV prevalence states. Sex workers say although condom use with clients has increased in recent years, there is still the odd client who refuses to use one. Also, condom use is low with regular partners and husbands. <br />In Madurai, a sex worker in her mid-20s said insisting that husbands use condoms instigates violence and distrust. "Men ask, 'Why are you asking me to use a condom? Am I having an extramarital relationship? Or are you having one?'" <br />Many of the product's 'champions' are young women who say the female condom has come to their rescue in ensuring safety. Partner approval has been critical in making it possible for them to use it, women say.

1.5 million female condoms will be social-marketed to sex workers in four states this year as India

1.5 million female condoms will be social-marketed to sex workers in four states this year as India, with over 2.5 million HIV/AIDS patients...

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Diane English has managed to make the "Sex and the City" movie look like a documentary.

Diane English has managed to make the "Sex and the City" movie look like a documentary.With her remake of George Cukor's 1939 cat fight "The Women," based on the play by Clare Booth Luce, English has applied all the lighthearted instincts of her sitcom background and seemingly none of the insights of the source material.<br />"The Women" was intended as a satire of society mavens and their frivolous lives; in directing for the first time and writing the script, the "Murphy Brown" creator has turned it into a celebration. Sure, it has an all-female cast of solid actresses, as did the original (though perhaps not quite the stellar collection that included Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford and Rosalind Russell).But Cukor's tone and timing are missing: It's as if English has included all the boutiques but none of the bite. And F. Scott Fitzgerald did uncredited work on the first script. Now there's someone who knew a little something about class distinctions, a perspective that's hard to match.<br />Meg Ryan does her patented cutesy thing in the Shearer role as Mary Haines, a wealthy Connecticut wife and mother who learns that her husband is having an affair. The other woman? Still the perfume girl at the Saks Fifth Avenue cosmetics counter, the role that helped catapult Crawford to fame, played here with cartoony va-va-voominess by Eva Mendes.Mary's friends, including magazine editor Sylvie Fowler (Annette Bening), rally around her in her time of need, offering snappy one-liners and broad facial expressions. Basically, their support consists of that great female pick-me-up, shopping. There are also lunches and dinners in which we must sit and watch the characters rehashing events we've already seen on screen, which is about as compelling as it sounds. It's also a preferred tactic on "The Hills," if that tells you anything about the amount of substance "The Women" offers.But considering the potentially meaty issues these women are facing — marriage, motherhood, career, identity — all their troubles wrap up way too quickly and neatly. Mary whips up one of those self-help vision boards — you know, the kind Oprah espouses, based on her fervent following of "The Secret" — and she figures it all out in no time. (Besides extolling the oversimplified mysticism of author Rhonda Byrne and the like, "The Women" also serves as an ad for designers Narciso Rodriguez and Marc Jacobs and the high-end lingerie line La Perla. Even the no-nonsense Sylvie has her scruffy lap dog on a Burberry leash.)Debra Messing's character, a hippie artist, gets little more to do than pop out babies, which sets up the kind of lazy ending you'd find in the most hackneyed chick flick. Meanwhile, Jada Pinkett Smith as a predatory lesbian novelist feels like even more of an afterthought — and an insulting one, at that. And Debi Mazar, as the gossipy manicurist who dishes about Mary's husband's infidelity, comes off as a gum-chewing Queens anachronism, a clunky attempt by English to remain true to the original material while simultaneously updating it for modern audiences.<br />English's "Murphy Brown" star Candice Bergen and Cloris Leachman briefly liven and class things up as Mary's mother and housekeeper, respectively. But the few moments that contain any semblance of truth or realism come from Mary's preteen daughter, Molly (India Ennenga), who's insecure about her body thanks to the oversaturation of impossible female images she sees all around her.But then, how does her mother achieve her own sense of liberation and self-worth? By stitching together a fashion collection and runway show, complete with emaciated models. Her greatest dilemma after that is whether to say yes to the offer from Saks to sell her designs.<br />Ironically, Mary probably would have contributed more to the world by putting on yet another charity luncheon at her Greenwich mansion.<br />"The Women," a Picturehouse release, is rated PG-13 for sex-related material, language, some drug use and brief smoking. Running time: 114 minutes. One and a half stars out of four.

Diane English has managed to make the "Sex and the City" movie look like a documentary.

Diane English has managed to make the "Sex and the City" movie look like a documentary.With her remake of George Cukor's 1939 ...

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