Net Compulsives

When entering the world of online dating, it’s sad but true: A little paranoia goes a long way

Rule #1: Don’t give out your address “My number-one rule is: Do NOT let someone you just met – online or otherwise – pick you up at your home. You do not want a stranger – and yes, no matter how many times you’ve emailed, talked on the phone and viewed his profile, he’s still a stranger – to know where you live!” says Ginger Ema, author of Back on Top: Fearless Dating After Divorce (Globe Pequot Press, May 2009). Rule #2: Meet on your turf So, where should this first date take place? Meet somewhere convenient for you, in a public place, hopefully where you know some of the wait staff or bartenders. “I probably took forty-five first dates to the same little café a few miles from my home, in a busy retail area. They knew me there – heck, I think they had a betting pool in the back about which guy I would end up with. But I felt safe!” Ginger says. Rule #3: Drive yourself The safety doesn’t end there. When going on this first date, be sure that you take your own car and you tell a friend where you are going and the name of the person you are meeting (hopefully it is his actual name), and you have an exit strategy. This can be something like telling your date ahead of time that you’ve got a meeting or have to pick up the kids. “When you meet a guy out, you can leave at any time. This is incredibly important when there are 20 million guys online, and you’re not doing an Intelius.com report on each one. If something feels awkward, off, or it’s simply not a match, you say thank you and get in your car and go home,” Ginger says. Rule #4: Keep personal info personal Another important safety tip before even getting to that first date is to create an anonymous email account for one that does not include your first name or last name and that doesn’t have your birth date as part of the username. You don’t want to give out all that information to people you are just meeting, it’s how they can stalk you! Rule #5: Block your number It’s also a good idea to learn to block your number when you are calling someone from your cell phone. You may not want a new guy to have your cell phone number yet – maybe never! Rule #6: Don’t bring a new date home Ginger also suggests never bring a new date to your home to meet your children. In fact, experts recommend that your kids not meet anyone you are dating until it is a serious, exclusive relationship – long enough for you to feel very comfortable about who this man is, and to know that this is something long-term. Your kids have already had disruption to their lives, no matter how amicable a divorce is. And children can be funny – they may tell us they want us to date; they may tell us they want us to go out, but they are affected by anything that rocks their world. Your kids just don’t need to be in on your dating stories, or who your ex is dating, either. On the other hand, once you are serious with someone, slowly introduce him to your child(ren). “Nothing surprised me more than having a relationship that integrated with the rest of my life. I seriously thought I would only date every Wednesday and every other weekend – when my son was with his dad. And that’s how it went for years – I didn’t date on ‘my son’s time,’” Ginger says. “But once I was in a long-term relationship that I knew was going to last, I introduced him to my son. I never imagined a holistic post-divorce relationship where my son likes my boyfriend, my boyfriend likes my son (this is saying a lot – he is, after all, a teenager). My ex likes my boyfriend and vice versa – I am the Demi Moore of my neighborhood!” “While not everyone who dates online loves it, it is still the best place to meet more men per minute. I mean, I’ve been viewed 48,000 times on one site! Where else would I have a pool of 48,000 interested men? “

When entering the world of online dating, it’s sad but true: A little paranoia goes a long way

Rule #1: Don’t give out your address “My number-one rule is: Do NOT let someone you just met – online or otherwise – pick you up at your hom...

“Women’s intuition” is not just an urban myth so if your gut is telling you that your man is lying then he most likely is.

It should be said that women were given a sixth sense for a reason. “Women’s intuition” is not just an urban myth so if your gut is telling you that your man is lying then he most likely is. But if you’re looking for a little more justification than just a funny feeling, here are some experts’ tips: 1. “Good liars will often have a quick and smooth response and use tactics that will redirect attention back to you or incite some kind of emotional response in you that can divert attention away from them and the lie,” said Manhattan-based clinical psychologist, J.Cilona. “Most other people might fumble a bit or show embarrassment. This is sign that they are not so sophisticated a liar and perhaps just made a bad choice.” 2. Dr. Eddy Kloprogge of FreudTV says you can detect lies by the way a person is smiling. “Forced smiles are easy to spot since they involved the muscles around the mouth,” said Kloprogge. “In a real smile, more facial muscles besides the mouth are involved. A dead giveaway is tightening around the eyes, which sometimes causes crows’ feet.” 3. Dr. Eddy also believes the behavior of other body parts can be a dead giveaway on whether or not a person is telling the truth. If their arms, legs, or hands are stiff and self-directed then they’re most likely lying. “The hands may touch or scratch their face, nose or behind an ear, but are not likely to touch their chest or heart with an open hand.” 4. “Be aware that sometimes men lie because their lady forces them to,” said Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of Nice Girls Can Finish First. “If you’re overly possessive or jealous or have rules he doesn’t agree with, he may lie to avoid an unpleasant situation.” 5. Be a pseudo detective and check out his story – not by stalking him but by taking time to think through what he tells you. “Many liars are big at making up stories and they believe in being very dramatic. In the end, though, their stories just don’t add up,” said Coy Long, CEO oh Hotlanta Matchmakers. 6. Long also warns that a person who is lying will often times rapidly change the topic of conversation to try and throw the other person off. “They also get really defensive and their tone of voice is inconsistent with their body movements.” 7. Dr. J. Cilona tells people to be very aware of the other person’s answers and body language. “Many people pick up on subtleties without being totally aware of them and new research even shows that we can actually smell fear in the perspiration of others. These kinds of cues are often out of our awareness and get labeled as a feeling or intuition. Consider this to be one of the most important reasons for concern.” 8. Language and word usage can be a telltale sign for liars, according to Kloprogge, who tells clients to be conscious of the other person’s word choice. If they’re repeating your own exact words when answering a question or avoiding direct statements and answers they’re probably not being honest. 9. Answers drenched in humor or sarcasm is an indication that they’re trying to avoid a subject – a big no, no. 10. Silence truly is golden. Kloprogge advises to allow total quiet into the conversation as it will give you a chance to observe their reaction. A person who is lying will most likely become very uncomfortable and restless when there is a pause in conversation.

“Women’s intuition” is not just an urban myth so if your gut is telling you that your man is lying then he most likely is.

It should be said that women were given a sixth sense for a reason. “Women’s intuition” is not just an urban myth so if your gut is telling ...

During the female-only parties, she explains the physiological differences between men and women and what can help a couple become more in sync in the

During the female-only parties, she explains the physiological differences between men and women and what can help a couple become more in sync in the bedroom. "Once you come to a couple of these parties, you realize how much I'm trying to promote healthy relationships, to provide education and do it in a fun, classy way," Jones said. "It's not like we're asking them to come to a naughty video store." Her approach is part of what makes Jones so popular - and successful.Although she has sponsored two other saleswomen in Idaho Falls, there's enough demand for parties that she spends two weekends a month - half her work days - here.Jones started with the goal of making $500 a month so she could stay home with her children. Today her husband stays home while she brings home $112,000 a year."People pay money just to laugh," she said. "We will pay $40 to $50 to see a good comedian, and we leave without a little bag of goodies and without education."After less than three years with Slumber Parties, Jones is the company's top saleswoman, out-selling the other 10,000 reps. In 2005, she amassed $180,000 in retail sales, a new record for the 13-year-old company.Denise first attended a Slumber Party when her sister hosted one a few years ago.Since then, she's attended five parties and has hosted one of her own. Compared to lingerie stores and ordering on the Internet, shopping with Jones puts her at ease."Local shops have the lingerie, but they just don't have quite as much of the novelties," Denise said. "I like to see how it's actually going to work, and with the Internet, there's a chance it could break during shipping. Jeanie guarantees her products."Jones knows her stuff, Denise said, and while Jones shares plenty of statistics, her presentation of the products makes everyone giggle, if not guffaw outright.Jones handles orders privately so women can ask more detailed questions,and brings enough inventory to fill orders, which eliminates unexpected surprises in the mail."I feel comfortable with Jeanie because she doesn't pressure you into buying her products, and she's really easy going and laid back," Denise said. "Jeanie makes it more fun."The popularity of Jones' products doesn't surprise Janet Allen of Creekside Counseling in Idaho Falls. Employees face burnout when there's nothing new to learn at work, she said, and the same is true for romantic relationships."We know that when relationships become static, boring or unstimulating, then they start to deteriorate," Allen said. "Then distance ensues... You have to keep it interesting, or you're probably not going to keep it." It's also no surprise to Allen that many of the women shopping with Jones are married."Statistically we know that the people who have the best sex - in terms of quality and frequency - are in an emotionally connected, highly committed marriage relationship," Allen said. "Statistics strongly support that sex is best within a marriage."For some customers, bedroom "toys" cut down the time it takes for partners to be successfully intimate."When you have kids, you feel like you have to hurry because they're going to wake up, or you have to hurry because you're going to get interrupted, or because you're tired and you have to get up in the morning," said Amanda, married for seven years and the mother of three children. "(With these products) You don't feel rushed, because this speeds things up, and it can be more intense than an orgasm with just your partner.Information empowers people to make quality decisions, Allen said, and sex is one of the ways adults play in their relationship.Allen's caveat: You're in charge of your choices, and regardless of how zealous or enthusiastic a salesperson is, don't engage in behavior that puts you outside your values and beliefs."But that's not to say that you shouldn't try something new or even a little awkward, because that's our growth edge," Allen said. Sophie, married for 20 years and the mother of three teenaged boys, invested in some flavored oils and fluffy cream to enhance her relationship with her husband.She's said the products have made their romantic encounters even more enjoyable for both of them.The money's nice, but Jones feels her ability to connect with women is the real payoff."I get cards, phone calls, e-mails: 'You saved my marriage,'" she said. "All of us have questions, and who do you ask? ... That's why they have so much fun. They say, 'I thought it was just me.'"

During the female-only parties, she explains the physiological differences between men and women and what can help a couple become more in sync in the

During the female-only parties, she explains the physiological differences between men and women and what can help a couple become more in s...

Finding people on the net can be an isolating/sole activity

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Before we can experience sensuality, touch and pleasure with a lover, it is important that every woman learns to explore her body

Before we can experience sensuality, touch and pleasure with a lover, it is important that every woman learns to explore her body, to pleasure it, and to appreciate it.Yes ladies – you can’t always blame your lover for your failure to launch. Take a good look at your sensual world, your relationship with yourself, your sensuality and erotic power.Begin by asking yourself a few questions: <blockquote>1. Have you experienced female self pleasuring? Do you have reservations? 2. Are you aware of the sensual sensations of your body? 3. Are you aware of the emotional feelings associated with your body? Your sexuality? Sexual power? 4. Do you know what words, actions, touches that give your more pleasure? 5. Do you know what things relax you, your mind and body? Is it food, music, candles, the feelings of silk on your soft skin? So how do you develop your ‘female self pleasuring’ potentional? Well when you have answered these questions, explored yourself, always keep in mind that your are a powerful sexual goddess and you deserve to be treated with respect, love, appreciation, pleasure and admiration – by yourself as well as your lover. Nurture your erotic relationship with yourself with female self pleasuring. 1. Set the mood, create the scene. From the answers to the questions, prepare your most ideal environment, i.e. one which helps you to relax, enhance your senses and sensuality. Think music, lighting, fragrance, cushions, oils, toys, clothing – or lack of! 2. Relax mind, body and soul. Have a slow luxurious soak, or give yourself a massage. 3. Slowly begin touching your self (leaving the genitals until the end). Stroke, caress, and admire your body – your hands, legs, stomach. Some women feel uncomfortable admiring themselves and their bodies. If any such feels come up just note them and let them go. Don’t stop and analyse, just continue touching and pleasuring your body, and make sure your last thought or feeling is a positive one. 4. Feel the energy begin to flow around the body. Feel your skin start to tingle, your breathing deepen. 5. Now start to stroke and caress your breasts, touching them slowly in admiration. Stroke your nipples, feel the skin on the breasts tingle and the energy flow around them. 6. After at least 20minutes of body sensual touching, you can proceed to the intimate areas. Lightly caress your yoni (the tantric word for Vagina which means sacred space), clit, lips. And any area you wish to explore! If you experience waves of intense pleasure and emotion (negative or positive) simply note them, breathe slowly and deeply and let these feelings go. Always end on a positive thought and feeling. Continue with your female self pleasuring. 7. Explore your inner erotic beauty by inserting a finger slowly into your yoni – just to within an inch or two initially. Note the physical and sensual sensations – the heat, moisture, and textures. Insert another finger if you’re comfortable. Explore your yoni, g-spot, vary your touch, and drape a lovely silk scarf over the area. Tease your clitoris, starting at the base of the clit and moving towards the head. (If indulging in intimate massage - make sure you use organic, cold-presses virgin oils such as almond, olive and sesame. Do not use essential oils in any form – on or near the genitals). 8. Allow the powerful erotic and sensual sensations to build and flow in waves throughout the body. Bring yourself close to climax, then slow down breathe deeply and start again. Do this a number of times to allow you to be in a state of arousal and pleasure for good amount of time. Enjoy the sensations until you can’t take it anymore. Claim and enjoy your female sexual power – the greatest power on the planet!</blockquote>

Before we can experience sensuality, touch and pleasure with a lover, it is important that every woman learns to explore her body

Before we can experience sensuality, touch and pleasure with a lover, it is important that every woman learns to explore her body, to pleasu...

it wasn’t the men who were degrading the women: the women were degrading themselves

“…it wasn’t the men who were degrading the women: the women were degrading themselves. The Pussycat Dolls took the stage, gyrating around an...

He expects me to shower him with good sex and attention even though he doesn’t give it to me,

He expects me to shower him with good sex and attention even though he doesn’t give it to me,He is horrible in bed; he won’t participate in any sexual games or fantasy things with me so I am always bored. He tells me I lay there and he needs something more but I am the one who comes up with all this cool stuff to do and he refuses to do it.No matter what I say and do I am wrong about it. If he is wrong he won’t admit to it,WE cant do anything that’s free like lay in the grass and he together cause he wont talk to me and if he does its about business so every thing we do has to be about moneyHe agrees with every thing that I say.I don’t trust him; he just acts like he just doesn’t give a shit,Takes care of me financially but not emotionally. Gives the wrong things.We don’t have the same friends. He wont bring his friends around me keeps them far far away. He doesn’t hang with any friends, and he is strange. I feel lonely a lot. Don’t know what to do .what will happen if I let him go. I want things to be different he wont listen to me and change. I tell him we need to have friends hang out with them do things he wont bring his friends around me and he keeps me far away from everyone.He doesn’t like it if his friends and family pay attention to me he wants all the attention h e is afraid they are going to like me better or something. He thinks that they are going to like me and turn on him it’s like a fight.He tries to shub me in a sardine can and lower myself esteem by doing all of these things.If were on a small vacation like going to see family he wont stop so I can smell the flowers and take pictures and things.

He expects me to shower him with good sex and attention even though he doesn’t give it to me,

He expects me to shower him with good sex and attention even though he doesn’t give it to me,He is horrible in bed; he won’t participate in ...

He wont use sex toys on me or even make love to my body he rushes threw sex and its over in 10 to 15 minutes if that.

When we make love, he has sex with me in the same position all the time. He doesn’t really connect with me and doesn’t exactly really want to.I am the giver and lover he isn’t. He is the taker. If I want to talk about my friends or family or anything really he just won’t talk. If I want to talk to him about problems he refuses to listen an d if he does listen he will just tell me its all in my head and that hear we go again, He is rude in our house. If I am not ready for bed and he is, he turns off the lights while I am walking around the house. He turns off the TV when I am watching it, if we fight about it he says you said you were going up stairs to sleep. He manipulates me, I said to him. I said I was going up to bed but I was still watching the TV. He always turns the lights off on me when I am walking around the house. I have to walk in the dark.When I am sick, he won’t take care of me, when he is sick I take care of him. Get is median and things,He wont use sex toys on me or even make love to my body he rushes threw sex and its over in 10 to 15 minutes if that. He accuses me of his STD that he caught he tells me I gave it to him and it makes me cry. He gave it to me and didn’t tell me he had it until 2 years later.He sides with people that are being mean to me;

He wont use sex toys on me or even make love to my body he rushes threw sex and its over in 10 to 15 minutes if that.

When we make love, he has sex with me in the same position all the time. He doesn’t really connect with me and doesn’t exactly really want t...

woman's main sex organ is her brain.

Ahh..sex drive. I do not know ANY women who have a higher sex drive than their male partners, and all of the couples I know--and I mean ALL--are experiencing the same thing. You are having a LOT of sex compared to most of the women I know (with and without kids), who are lucky if they have it once or twice a MONTH. I don't know what the answer is. People are tired, exhausted from energy spent on work and/or kids, stressed about the economy, traffic, you name it. Sex is just not as exciting after years of being with the same person, no matter how much you love them or are attracted to them. It just gets a little more mundane, in my humble opinion. Would love to hear from others on this, but this really is the most common complaint I have heard between married or long term hetero partners. Almost Sexless in SF....I have some long held beliefs on this topic: First of all, I believe a woman's main sex organ is her brain. Unless there is some mystery left in the relationship, it is challenging to muster up any kind of drive for sex. I applaud you for mustering enough drive to have sex with your husband twice a week! I think that marital relationships have a natural course. The desire for sex naturally wanes when the routine of family life takes over. Most people have to really work at it to maintain a semblance of mystery which stirs passion-- whether it's fantasy, toys, porn, alcohol, oysters, chocolate, etc. As for your husband's drive, I would suggest he satisfy himself on the ''days'' that you aren't in the mood. Obligatory sex is not fun for either party. Though, I've heard that it is good for a marriage. I, personally have a really hard time going along with it for my partner's sake. Others don't. It's an individual thing. Tell your partner that the reason there was more passion when you were first dating, is that there was still mystery! You each put each other on a pedestal and were still discovering things about each other. This creates an element of surprise which fuels passion. Why does the story go that the girl always is attracted to the bad boy? Because it's the taboo factor. We want what we shouldn't have. Hence, there is attraction.You are being too hard on yourself - yes it's possible that you don't desire him ''every day''. And, yes, you can have beliefs of how a mother and wife are different because they are! You have lots of other emotional ties in your life. It is different than it was when it was just you and he. This is a female point of view.

woman's main sex organ is her brain.

Ahh..sex drive. I do not know ANY women who have a higher sex drive than their male partners, and all of the couples I know--and I mean ALL-...

Prostitution is a recession-proof business

Statistics from the international non-governmental organisation, Coalition Against the Trafficking of Women, suggest that there are about 150,000 prostitutes working in Malaysia, with over 10,000 in the Klang Valley.According to information from the women rescued by local women’s aid NGO Tenaganita, a prostitute usually works a seven-day week, charging RM150 an hour. <blockquote>“Serving an average of eight clients a day, she ends up making RM1,200 daily and possibly RM36,000 a month,” the New Strait Times quoted Aegile Fernandez, anti-human trafficking coordinator of the NGO who has had experience making women escape the sex industry for more than 20 years, as saying.</blockquote>“But that is just full-time sex workers who enter the trade willingly. If the girls are forced into the trade via human trafficking, she gets nothing except a traumatic experience,” Aegile added.The syndicate running the brothels is said to usually have up to 100 girls under them, meaning that they could rake in about RM120,000 a day and a whopping RM3.6 million a month.Information from pimps operating in the country suggests that Malaysia has hundreds of such syndicates, each operating several brothels in their designated areas. Many brothels in Malaysia double as “health centres” offering massage services.JJ, a pimp for more than 10 years, says that clients are willing to pay from RM60 to RM100 for an hour of massage, followed by an additional RM150 for sex.“Prostitutes who double as massage ladies also get a fee from their handlers for massage services, usually about RM20 per customer,” JJ says.So, in addition to as much as RM36,000 monthly from sex alone, a prostitute can add on another RM9,000 for offering “half services”, bringing her monthly untaxed income to a whopping RM45,000.“Don’t forget their RM200 a day wages for massaging an average of 10 customers. That’s a legitimate RM5,200 a month or RM62,400 a year. They can choose to pay tax on that, but most don’t,” says JJ.He has also revealed that each sex worker pays RM3,000 a month to pimps “as tax or rent for using our centres to do business and for protection from aggressive customers.”According to him, prostitution is a recession-proof business.“Things didn’t slow down for us during the 1997 Asian financial crisis or any of the recessions before that. Sex, like food, is a necessity,” he said. (ANI)

Prostitution is a recession-proof business

Statistics from the international non-governmental organisation, Coalition Against the Trafficking of Women, suggest that there are about 15...

SEXtech

TechSexual Communications.This might include using text, IM, email, video or other technologies. These communications might be with a specific other or with the general public (for example, maintaining an anonymous or public sex blog where you present yourself and your sex life in a particular way).Using Technology to Create Sexual Opportunities.An ever-increasing number of social networking services (for computers and mobile) are designed to make finding sexual partners and negotiating sexual interactions easier. By allowing people from around the world to connect based on sexual interests, many technologies facilitate sexual opportunities between people who previously would have been unlikely to find partners with matched interests. Technology also creates more solo sexual opportunities by allowing individuals to access sexual material in a safer, faster, easier way.Using Technology for "In Real Life" Sexual Activities.Technology can do more than just help us make time for sex or find a sexual partner, tech has a role in both solo and partnered sex play. From the newest pharmaceutical drugs to programmable sex toys and special positioning devices, we use technology in our sex play to change enhance and support sexual pleasure.Using Technology to Explore Sexual Identity and Orientation.The relative anonymity that technology affords us in communication has changed the way we can present ourselves to the world. It is relatively easy to develop alternate personas online and experience sexual interactions through a different orientation or identity than the one you have in your face-to-face interactions. Many people have long-term work and personal relationship with people they’ve never met in person and sometimes have never spoken with, reducing the power of impressions and stereotypes based on visual and audio cues. Virtual spaces that make use of avatars allow users to develop rich and meaningful identities that they can carry over into other parts of their lives, or not.Technology for Sexual Education.Some people’s interest in sex tech is less personal and more professional and political. Sexuality educators have been relatively slow in adopting new technologies but this is changing. Sex:Tech is an annual conference that focuses on using technologies for sexual health education and the number of websites offering sex education for youth and adults continues to grow as does the adoption of social networking technologies for sex education purposes.Technology for Sexual Entertainment.People may have finally come around to the realization that the Internet isn’t just for porn, but it’s still a popular way to find sexual entertainment. Viewing online pornography, playing sex video games visiting virtual strip clubs -- some people would also consider the virtual sex they have a form of entertainment (while for others virtual sex is tied to relationships and carries more meaning). The history of sex tech shows that whenever a new form of technology is introduced, people use it for sexual entertainment almost immediately.Technology for Sexual/Reproductive Health.What we can do with new health/medical technologies has greatly expanded our reproductive options, and sex tech includes technology for fertility testing and treatment. In another area of sexual health, technology is being used to enhance treatments for sexual dysfunctions, though almost exclusively through pharmaceutical technologies. Unfortunately as sex researchers and therapists have also been slow in adopting new technologies, the use of sex tech to influence sexual dysfunctions and sexual pleasure through social, cognitive and behavior means has yet to be explored in any depth.

SEXtech

TechSexual Communications.This might include using text, IM, email, video or other technologies. These communications might be with a specif...

“I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device,”

“I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device,” to which Samantha responded, “You say that, but you haven’t met The Rabbit.” Popular toys like The Rabbit, Fleshlight and Purple Rocket may now make up part of the $15 billion global sex toy industry, but it’s been a long road to success for these pleasure props.Early models of the vibrator were used to treat women with hysteria, which, up until 1952 when the American Psychiatric Association dropped the term, was a disorder associated with repressed female sexuality. “[Hysteria] displayed a symptomatology consistent with the normal functioning of female sexuality, for which relief, not surprisingly, was obtained through orgasm, either through intercourse in the marriage bed or by means of massage on the physician’s table,” explained Rachel P. Maines in The Technology of Orgasm: “Hysteria,” the Vibrator, and the Women’s Sexual Satisfaction. Today, sex toys have broken free of their medical means and are making a significant mark in contemporary culture.Not only does the topic of sex toys warrant shout outs in such television shows as Sex and the City and the upcoming TLC program Mother Knows Sex, a reality show which follows the life of a church-going housewife who has made millions selling sex toys, but it has also been integrated into mainstream culture in more tangible ways.Sex toy parties have grown in popularity as a more provocative take on the Tupperware party. “[They] might make people more comfortable, because someone is coming to your home, you’re with friends, it’s fun and informative,” said Michelle Everest, who teaches human sexuality at Western. Everest also mentioned the existence of progressive sex shops, such as Come As You Are and Good for Her in Toronto, which offer information and sex workshops to help people become better in tune with their sexuality.Despite the growing popularity, acceptance and booming business of sex toys, it’s still an industry facing a number of challenges.“There’s still probably a stigma about going into a sex store, regardless of how progressive it is,” Everest said. “We hope to de-stigmatize the use of them. They’re not for oversexualized people. They’re not for single people who don’t have intimate partners. [Sex toys are] a way to explore your sexuality in a very healthy way,” she added.Susan Knabe, who teaches in both the Faculty of Information and Media Studies and the department of women’s studies and feminist research at Western, identified female sexuality and the idea of sex toys as a joke as problematic. <blockquote>“It’s the way women are positioned as sexual consumers,” Knabe said, adding that lingerie and sex toys have come to be how women position themselves sexually.</blockquote> “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but I do think it’s easily recuperated within the discourse of women’s sexuality as being sort of trivial. It’s associating it with toys, infantilizing or at least juvenile.” The Libido Erotic Emporium for Women, a female-friendly sex store located in London, was dedicated to promoting a comfortable, non-judgmental space to shop. <blockquote>“[Kelly Garland, the owner of Libido] really tried to support women-only businesses. She was also very conscientious of the packaging things were sold in,” explained Sarah Scanlon, internal relations manager for the Women’s Issues Network and a former employee at Libido. </blockquote> “If things were ever sold in packaging that was inappropriate — and that could basically be anything from being oppressive to women or hetero-normative — she just refused to buy it.”Scanlon also explained how more traditional sex stores can be alienating to customers who stray from our society’s narrow frame of who should be having sex, such as Libido’s customer base that consisted largely of older women. When Libido closed its doors in September 2008, Scanlon recalled a lot of regular customers were devastated, as they felt unwelcome in conventional sex stores. “It was really, really hard and sad,” she said.

“I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device,”

“I’m not going to replace a man with some battery-operated device,” to which Samantha responded, “You say that, but you haven’t met The Rabb...

making masturbation interesting,Before becoming a porn mastermind, Houston worked at Good Vibrations, another pillar of San Francisco's sex industry.

On the very edge of Bernal Heights, right before the residential streets drop away and the passing highway begins, lives Shine Louise Houston -- the creative force behind self-proclaimed indie dyke porn studio Pink & White Productions. Climbing up the stairs, stepping over scattered children's toys to Houston's apartment, nothing gives away the fact that the ex-film student living here shoots and edits high-quality queer porn. From her home office, Houston has worked on multiple critically acclaimed, award-winning features, like Crashpad and Superfreak -- films that take a craftsman's approach to sex. As Violet Blue explained in her recent SF Chronicle column about Pink & White's new film, Champion: Love Hurts, the members of this women-run production studio were "primed like evil gay masterminds to conquer the world with their superlative films" from the very beginning back in 2005 -- and it they have.Before becoming a porn mastermind, Houston worked at Good Vibrations, another pillar of San Francisco's sex industry. Every day, as part of her demanding retail job -- which, she explains, required her to be both "salesperson and sexologist" -- she saw the void in available porn DVDs where decent, female-oriented films featuring non-cookie-cutter bodies should have been. Sure, a few movies had popped up here and there. Even Good Vibes had tried its hand at making features. As she saw it though, there were no long-term, sustainable studios putting out the type of porn she wanted to see. Once she hit 30, she decided to quit. "I said, 'Fuck this. I'm starting a company," she laughs. Soon enough, she found herself telling a potential backer who asked who she was, "I'm going to be the best dyke porn producer in San Francisco." <blockquote>Above all, Houston believes in the art of film, no matter what her subject. The original Crashpad, for example, Pink & White's early feature about a mysterious apartment where women can go for uninhibited fun, was shot in four days at a friend's apartment, using models (i.e., actors) who'd simply heard about the project by word of mouth. The editing process, by comparison to those three days, took eight weeks. "Every other genre of film conforms to a certain visual language," says Houston, so why can't porn? Why should viewers have to suffice with long takes, single shots, and awkward camera movement? When she's on the job, Houston isn't thinking about the beautiful women in front of her, she says. She's thinking about how to film them. "Four-ways are the hardest to shoot," she explains, "because there are always bodies blocking everything." Also tough: making masturbation interesting.</blockquote>Houston and Pink and White as a whole have received a lot of praise for the "realness" of their sex scenes -- but when it comes to her art form, ironically, Houston doesn't believe in the "real." It's true that, unlike a lot of mainstream pornographers, she doesn't choreograph her models. She just lets them go at it."What they're doing is fine," she says. Though the natural pace to this kind of sex be longer and more drawn out than what normally appears in porn, she can compress everything down in postproduction, giving each scene a steady beat - if not an authentic one. Houston isn't worried the extra time she dedicates to her films will slow her down. She prides herself on featuring alternative bodies, on presenting the queer without exoticizing it. "The porn audience as a whole is getting smarter," she says, and that's just what they want.

making masturbation interesting,Before becoming a porn mastermind, Houston worked at Good Vibrations, another pillar of San Francisco's sex industry.

On the very edge of Bernal Heights, right before the residential streets drop away and the passing highway begins, lives Shine Louise Housto...

505 cent is now on to sex toys.

Female First reports, "The sexy rapper is desperate to release a line of condoms and waterproof sex toys designed to excite his female ...

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