Net Compulsives

Iraqi

Former U.S. Marine’s pornography use got completely out of control after returning home from war. In order to help himself and others in the similar situation he started his blog Feed The Right Wolf. He shares his story to raise awareness about the dangers of pornography, and his site just recently had its 200,000th visitor. Alex is a former U.S. Marine, who served on two combat deployments, including the second battle of Fallujah, with his Infantry battalion. Like many veterans, after returning home from war he had a very hard time adjusting back to normal life. Unlike most of the veterans, Alex did not turn to drugs or alcohol as a quick fix to his problem, he turned to pornography. After 2 years he was a full blown porn addict. That is when Alex decided to start a website named Feed The Right Wolf, on which his shared his own experience of recovery. The site has just celebrated its major milestone receiving its 200,000th visitor. “I started watching porn since I was 10 years old or so”, says Alex, “but it never got so out of control for me as it did after I came back from Iraq; I would spend up to 8 hours a day watching pornography and I could not get myself to stop.” It is very well accepted knowledge that many veterans turn to alcohol and drugs when they return from war. Many veterans, like Alex, receive briefing about such dangers before they separate from the military. Unlike drugs, however, most people are not fully aware of the dangerous effect that pornography can have. Here is what Alex has to say about his experience: “I didn’t know that watching pornography could be dangerous. I just thought it was a healthy way to express my sexual needs. The problem for me was that the more I watched the more I wanted to watch. It never seemed to be enough. I always thought that I could just stop, but when I actually tried to stop I found myself completely helpless against pornography addiction. It took me almost 3 years to restore my life back to balance.” As one of the tools to help him fight porn addiction, Alex started his own blog, called Feed The Right Wolf as a reference to famous Cherokee story. Over time the site’s popularity grew and more people began showing up for support. As of today the site visitor count is nearing total of 200,000. “I am not an expert, nor do I pretend to be one”, says Alex, “I think the people come to my site, because there aren’t many other sites talking about this issue. I do think it is important to share the message about the dangers of porn addiction. Growing up I had numerous opportunities to hear recovering alcoholics share their experience, which did help me avoid similar mistakes. I am just trying to raise the same level of awareness regarding the dangers of porn addiction. I believe that our society is on the verge of realizing of how just destructive porn and sex addiction can be, especially in light of recent high profile sex addiction cases such as Tiger Woods and Rep. Anthony Weiner.” Alex encourages everybody to educate themselves about the dangers of pornography addiction. Modern day technology brings unlimited amount of hardcore pornography to almost every household in America. That is why it becomes crucial for every parent to become aware of the risks involved and take necessary precautions to safeguard their children.

Iraqi Veteran is Leading Fight Against Porn Addiction and Shares His Own Struggles with Pornography On His Site

Former U.S. Marine’s pornography use got completely out of control after returning home from war. In order to help himself and others in the...

Abandon

MANCHESTER United star Ryan Giggs is a brilliant footballer. But now we also know that he has cheated on his wife Stacey and allegedly has had other affairs. There was a time when Giggs's bedroom adventures would have been described as promiscuous. Today, they are likelier to be represented as a marker for a disease. "Ryan has an illness and he needs my help" is the reported verdict of Giggs's wife. And the illness? It is sex addiction. It is reported that Giggs will seek "treatment" for his "condition" so that he will be "cured" of this ailment. The rebranding of promiscuity as sex addiction is not confined to Britain. Throughout Europe and the US the numbers of sex addicts is said to be on the rise, and recently it was reported that Australia is also experiencing a growth in the number of patients seeking treatment for their affliction. Michelle Thomson, who runs Life Resolutions, a counselling service in Melbourne, says referrals for sex addiction have increased from one every two months to about 24 a month. Lust, infidelity, betrayal and the drive for sexual domination have always presented a challenge to a society's grammar of morality. However, the present confusion of a bad habit with a medical problem is symptomatic of the difficulty that contemporary Western societies have in making moral judgments about human behaviour. Sometimes even people who profess to possess religious convictions find it difficult to ascribe guilt to immoral behaviour. That is why behaviour that was once denounced as sinful is today discussed through the language of therapy rather than the language of morality. The old deadly sins tend to be looked on as personality disorders that require treatment rather than transgressions that deserve punishment. Take the case of Peter Madden, the moralising Christian Democrat politician who promises to clean up Kings Cross in Sydney. While he is happy to denounce the participants of the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras as being "sexually immoral", he prefers to use a more neutral-sounding, medical language to account for his own behaviour. Apparently he is an "ex-sex addict" who has struggled with his pornography addiction. At its worst even a violent crime such as rape can be represented as a consequence of sex addiction. Recently a court in Adelaide was told that a man who committed a series of rapes there and in Western Australia had sought treatment for his sexual addiction and, according to a psychological report, was now a "different person". But the problem with the recycling of bad habits and degrading behaviour as medical problems is not simply that of failing to hold people to account for the consequences of their actions. Yes, a lot of people - including celebrities such as Keith Urban, Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, Lindsay Lohan - can represent themselves as victims of addiction rather than as lecherous and self-regarding individuals. The real problem is the message that the diseasing of human behaviour sends to all of us. The fashionable label of an addictive personality encourages people to fatalistically acquiesce to their worst instincts. Addicts are portrayed as victims of circumstances beyond their control: they are literally counselled to accept powerlessness as the defining feature of their existence. Sexaholics Anonymous Australia mimics the 12-step approach of Alcoholics Anonymous. The first step that a sex addict takes on the road to sexual sobriety is to admit that "we were powerless over lust". The promotion of the myth of human powerlessness has fostered a climate where addiction has become normalised. The American Association on Sexual Problems estimates that more than 15 per cent of the US population is addicted to sex. Throughout the Western world, clinics and self-help groups devoted to treating the recently discovered epidemic of sex addiction are flourishing. Their growth is underwritten by fashionable cultural norms that are receptive to the medicalising of people's bad habits. It is worth noting that any bad habit can be recast as an addiction. Through the years, society has become accustomed to use terms such as internet addiction syndrome, workaholism, shopaholism, cybersex addiction, addiction to love, compulsive helping, exercise addiction or mobile phone addiction. The inability of individuals to control their lives assumes the character of a self-evident truth in the narrative of addiction. Addiction plays the role of a cultural fetish through which society calls into question people's potential to exercise moral independence. The normalisation of this status of dependence is continually reinforced by constant exhortation to seek professional support. As a result, a new culture of dependency is constantly upheld and promoted. In this context the term "irresponsible" has undergone a radical transformation. People who cheat on their partners cannot be held accountable for their addiction. The only grounds for condemning them as irresponsible is if they refuse to seek professional support. Perversely, those who attempt to deal with their problems through the exercise of self-control are castigated as being in denial and criticised for failing to come to terms with the gravity of their illness. Seeking help is mandatory, not an option, for those diagnosed as sex addicts. Western society has become so hooked on addiction because it finds it difficult to imagine that people can be authors of their destiny. It is therefore drawn towards a fatalistic interpretation of human behaviour. The idea that people "can't help it" or are "victims of their emotions" represents an abandonment of the standard of accountability associated with the Enlightenment idea of human choice. Through its devaluation of the idea of moral independence, the medicalisation of bad habits diminishes the human capacity for self-determination. The good news is that people can overcome their bad habits if they choose to do so. People who in one stage in their life became far too distracted by sex can learn to value and cultivate a durable intimate relationship. People regularly quit smoking, lose weight, substantially reduce their drinking and even get bored with gaping at dirty magazines. It is amazing just how far an act of will can take you.

Abandon all responsibility ye who are hooked on sex addiction

MANCHESTER United star Ryan Giggs is a brilliant footballer. But now we also know that he has cheated on his wife Stacey and allegedly has h...

Addictions

Former congressman Anthony Weiner stepped down under pressure from fellow Democrats, including President Barack Obama, after he admitted to "sexting" in which he sent lewd pictures of himself to young women. He said he was seeking treatment for an unspecified problem. Golfer Tiger Woods checked into an unspecified rehabilitation centre for treatment after admitting to a number of extramarital affairs. David Duchovny ... underwent treatment for sex addiction in 2008. Actor David Duchovny, star of Californication, is one of the few who has publicly announced his sex addiction. He entered a rehabilitation center for the sex disorder in 2008. But the sensational nature of the public admissions by the famous and powerful to multiple extramarital affairs, obsession with Internet sexting, or repeated accusations of sexual harassment, draws intense media attention - and a fair amount of ridicule. "People joke that if they are going to have an addiction, that's the one they want to have," said therapist Stephanie Carnes, author of Mending a Shattered Heart. There is also scepticism among the public and some psychologists that the sexual disorder even exists, but is rather an excuse for infidelity or viewing pornography. There is no diagnosis of addiction at all in the official listing of mental disorders, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. But as not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic, sex addiction is characterised by out-of-control, compulsive behavior. And it can be more damaging to family life and harder to give up than more typical addictions. Sex, like food, is a primary need for humans. With the advent of the internet, it is readily available - either cybersex or quick hookups arranged through online sites. Cybersex has been called the crack cocaine of the addiction. It is also easier to hide and to deny than the more public evidence of drug or alcohol use. But the consequences can be as severe: loss of jobs, damaged health, financial ruin and estrangement from family and friends. "If you look at their lives, nobody would want that. They are devastated, they lost everything, they hate themselves," Carnes said in a telephone interview. "They are really suffering." PERVASIVE, NOT PERVERTED Sex addiction or compulsion crosses all social lines and all national borders, includes people from all walks of life, cultures and sexual orientations, and is not restricted to any age or gender. Psychologists estimate that 3 to 5 per cent of people are sexaholics, and possibly more given the ease of access on the internet. Psychologists also find three times as many men as women are likely to have the problem. "Women are more addicted to romance," said psychologist Steve Eichel who practises in Delaware. And women are less likely to seek help due a feeling of greater shame to admit sex addiction - until those consequences cannot be ignored. Just as alcoholism was seen as a moral problem a generation or two ago, sex addiction is now regarded as a character flaw or moral issue - for men, an overindulgence in "boys will be boys" bad behaviour, and for women, "easy virtue." But there are big differences, psychologists say. "One or two affairs does not make a person a sex addict," said Carnes. What does make a sex addict, psychologists say, is the inability to stop, the ever-increasing need for fulfillment, the diminishing room in the sex addict's life for family and work, and the disregard for consequences. For example: - A middle-aged man fired when his bosses catch him watching online pornography in his office. - A doctor suspended from hospital practice for repeated charges of harassment because he compulsively gropes female nurses. - An executive facing embezzlement charges and jail for using company money to pay for prostitutes. But no frenzy of television cameras follows the vast majority of sexaholics to the rehab centres. As Eichel said: "No one is interested in the accountant's story." And, importantly, a person who commits a sexual assault, even multiple times, should not automatically be considered a sex addict, Carnes said. "It's the physician down the street [who is the sex addict], not the Craigslist killer," she said. TREATMENT POSSIBLE, HIGH RELAPSE The addiction is both about sex and its ability, like drugs, alcohol or other addictions, to numb psychological pain from other issues in life and mental health problems, addiction specialists say. Studies of sex addiction patients over the last 20 years have found high rates of childhood trauma, sexual abuse, difficulty forming healthy attachments and struggle with intimacy in real sexual relationships, Carnes said. "People use sex to escape and medicate," she said. The experience produces the same chemical reaction, a hit of dopamine (in the pleasure center of the brain), that someone who gambles or eats compulsively will receive. Carnes said there are many parallels with chemical dependency, including a three- to five-year recovery process. Involvement in group therapy or in an Alcoholics Anonymous-type 12-step program is very important, she said. Residential treatment can cost $3800 to $5700 a week and a course of four to six weeks is recommended. Cheaper out-patient therapy is still expensive since it is not covered by most health insurance. There is no official medical diagnosis of sex addiction, and no good way to test whether it exists. Some call it a compulsion rather than an addiction. Many sceptics about the existence of this addiction see the diagnosis as enabling the wealthy who can afford treatment to escape sticky situations. The promise of recovery could lead a wife to drop divorce proceedings, an employer to give a second chance and even in some cases no criminal prosecution for crimes such as embezzlement to fund the addiction. Carnes says recovery is "absolutely" possible. "There are thousands of recovering sex addicts living healthy, joyous lives," she said. But as with other addictions, the relapse rate is high. Although no definitive studies are available as yet, Eichel puts short term success at 80 per cent, with success defined not as total abstinence but healthy use of the behaviour. Comparing sex addiction to food addiction, Eichel said: "You can't not eat."

Addictions to alcohol, drugs and gambling can destroy lives, but less well known and more controversial is the overwhelming need for sexual satisfaction so intense that psychologists compare it to crack cocaine.

Former congressman Anthony Weiner stepped down under pressure from fellow Democrats, including President Barack Obama, after he admitted to ...

Sober

Sober actress Tatum O'Neal sympathises with fallen U.S. politician Anthony Weiner, likening his "compulsion" to engage in explicit sexual chats to an addiction. Weiner resigned from his position as a New York congressman on Thursday (16Jun11) after it emerged he had lied about sending a saucy picture of himself to a female student via Twitter. He also confessed to having intimate phone and internet conversations with at least six women outside his marriage. O'Neal, who has a history of drug abuse and has been clean for a year, has now compared Weiner's behaviour to that of an addict. She tells Cnn host Piers Morgan, "It is really sad, because he was a really ambitious, up-and-coming congressman, who wanted to be mayor. So the idea that he self-sabotaged this hugely speaks to a definite addiction. "Whether... he knew it was an addiction or not, I don't know. It is a complete sabotage of everything... It is almost like he had to do it, in a way, even though he's married to one of the most beautiful women in the world... "This compulsion speaks very highly to addiction... I can imagine that the fact that he did that so recently after his marriage speaks to an incredible compulsion... That no matter what happens, he had to do it." A spokesperson has confirmed Weiner is checking into a rehabilitation centre "to focus on becoming a better husband and healthier person", but the type of treatment has not been divulged.

Sober actress Tatum O'Neal sympathises with fallen U.S. politician Anthony Weiner, likening his "compulsion" to engage in explicit sexual chats to an addiction.

Sober actress Tatum O'Neal sympathises with fallen U.S. politician Anthony Weiner, likening his "compulsion" to engage in expl...

The

<a href="http://www.metro.co.uk/news/866724-ian-puddick-cleared-of-twitter-harassment-of-wifes-millionaire-lover"> </a>Ian and Leena Puddick are trying to rebuild their marriage  Mr Puddick, of Enfield, found out his wife Leena had been having a relationship with her boss when he read a raunchy message on her mobile phone in May 2009. It emerged she had been seeing Mr Haynes, who was then a director of the re-insurance firm Guy Carpenter, for ten years. Angered by the discovery they had been sleeping together and regularly exchanged 30 text messages, many of them containing graphic sexual detail, a day, Mr Puddick set about taking revenge. He used Twitter to reveal details of the affair and wrote blogs and uploaded videos to the internet about Mr Haynes, who lost his job after his relationship with Mrs Puddick became public knowledge. Mr Haynes claimed Mr Puddick should have confronted him directly instead of using the internet and complained to police that he was being harassed. That led to the charge, but after hearing the evidence District Judge Elizabeth Roscoe delivered a not guilty verdict. Mr Puddick, who is now trying to repair his marriage, described the news as a 'victory for free speech and the small man'.

The 41-year-old plumber was found not guilty of harassment at City of Westminster Magistrates Court on Friday, following a three-day trial.

Ian and Leena Puddick are trying to rebuild their marriage Mr Puddick, of Enfield, found out his wife Leena had been having a relationship ...

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