Net Compulsives

Sex

Dildos These come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some phallic, others, disturbingly, in the shape of animals, some curved for g-spot stimulation, and others with an extra bit for clitoral stimulation. It’s best to visit a sex store to determine what is best for you. If it’s your first time, I strongly recommend Venus Envy in Halifax, as they’re very female friendly, and are open to any sort of questions you may have, They also offer workshops. For those of you who aren’t open to shoving something man-made inside of you, there are also vegetable options in the grocery store, zucchini, cucumbers, and maybe an interestingly shaped butternut squash. Vibrators I know this is a general term, but sometimes you just want a simple phallic shaped device (and if not, watch the Sex and the City episode where they talk about the Rabbit vibe). There’s also one promoted by Fantasia parties, lovingly termed the Disco Dick, as it glows in a variety of colours and pulses. In addition, there's the iVibe, but it’s just something you can plug your ipod into so it’ll pulse along to the music. There are many many options out there, and it’s best to visit a sex store (Venus Envy in Halifax, or Xclusive Boutique in Moncton), visit a sex toy party (http://www.fantasia.ca), or look online for the best option. Keep in mind that the above list was just the basics, to introduce you to what’s out there, I strongly encourage you to visit a sex store (if you’re nervous, say you’re doing research for a sex column) or look online for various options. Sex toys aren’t for everyone, but they do tend to spice up things in the bedroom, and I’m a huge fan of trying everything at least once.

Sex toys for women ,Sex toys aren’t for everyone, but they do tend to spice up things in the bedroom,and I’m a huge fan of trying everything

Dildos These come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some phallic, others, disturbingly, in the shape of animals, some curved for g-spot stim...

Janet and her husband started swinging seven years, they had rules governing the various permutations of what they would do, and with whom.

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Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett Do the Cyber Sex Thing

I’m

I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame for their ordeal. I’m assuming most of the students who made this very depressing announcement are male. Please correct me if I’m wrong. I narrowly missed becoming the victim of a group attack myself, many years ago. I was walking home with a female friend from a disco, both of us wearing full-length coats, as was the fashion of the time. We were not dressed provocatively or acting provocatively in any way whatsoever. A car full of drunken young men drove past, slowed down, reversed and began to shout the most obscene things at the pair of us. We were both terrified but made no reply. A few minutes later the car stopped and the occupants got out and came staggering towards us. At this point we fled into the garden of a nearby house and pretended we lived there, banging loudly on the door. The car sped off but stopped a little way up the road and waited: watching to see if we would be admitted to the house. We felt we were being hunted down like animals. With nobody from the house coming to our aid and no handy mobile phone to call the police, we feared we were about to be seriously assaulted. Or worse. In the end we hid behind some shrubs and prayed for a miracle. The men came into the garden but they did not find us. They left, swearing loudly. A few minutes later we took our chances and fled home. After that I never went to another disco without booking a reliable taxi home first, and I always left the venue 30 minutes before the end of the night. Would I have been to blame that night if I’d become a victim of rape? I don’t think so. And neither is any woman or girl. Everyone knows full well that a bit of tipsy flirting is not a guarantee of sex. Nor is a tight-fitting frock or a pair of high heels. If men cannot be blamed for finding such things irresistible then what is their excuse when they rape elderly women, or young children, or peasant women in dowdy rags or humble housewives in shabby tracksuits? I am appalled that anyone thinks it is a woman’s fault if she is raped. Was it the fault of that poor woman from Lithuania who was abducted from a Northern Ireland pub, drugged and raped by an evil gang who fully intended to deliver her into a nightmare life of forced prostitution? Are the illegal brothels here running out of drug-addicts or something? I mean, if we women are just desperate for rough sex with strangers all the time, you’d think there would be no need to drug and rape new prostitutes to get them started in the sex industry. I never, but never, thought I would agree with the extreme right on anything. But I’m beginning to think we should bring back hanging. I’m sorry but I’m heartily terrified by the endless headlines about violent rape, child sex abuse, domestic violence, casual murder on our streets, the commonplace terrorising of our senior citizens and the modern scourge of drug-dealing. I’m sick of terrorists defending the slaughter of the innocents. I’m sick of women being treated as somehow culpable in their own rape. Would any woman seriously want to be so badly hurt and degraded that she later commits suicide? I am disgusted by the results of this so-called survey. The Permissive Society was never meant to be a promise of sex-on-demand for any boozed-up male on the prowl. It was never meant to be the end of dignity and respect for girls and women everywhere. It was simply meant to be the end of treating women as chattels, and thus allowing them to choose their own lovers and husbands. Instead of being kept under lock-and-key in their father’s house and then handed over to be married to the first decent suitor that came along. So now, at long last, I have something in common with George Dubya Bush: Yes, I do support the death penalty. And if any man or men were to brutally and deliberately hurt someone close to me, I’d have no trouble in pulling the lever myself. Or whatever it is you have to do to hang a man these days. So there it is, guys. Are you shocked? Maybe you think any woman who is raped deserves everything she gets. But as far as I’m concerned, hanging is too good for the rapists. So there.

I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame

I’m still reeling from the staggering survey result that 46% of students here believe women who are raped are partially or wholly to blame f...

YOUNG

YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation, the latest research from the Crisis Pregnancy Agency has found.Caroline Spillane, director of the agency, said that, despite the growing confidence of young women, there was still a reluctance to be seen to be ready for sex.She said young women were worried that if they produced condoms then they were perceived to be "easy"."That's a huge problem," she said. "It's probably going back to gender norms, and how women are supposed to behave. If I am seen to be ready for sex in this way, does it have an impact on my reputation?"The research also found that men were more worried about contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) than about an unplanned pregnancy.Ms Spillane said the prospect of an STD seemed more immediate to men while a crisis pregnancy could be seen as "more of a woman's problem. There is a cohort of men who are indifferent to unplanned pregnancy," she said.There has been a major increase in sexually transmitted infections in recent years, with the highest rate found in the 20-29 age group.The Well Woman centres have seen a five-fold increase in the number of people attending for sexually transmitted infection screening since 2002. The number of people testing positive for chlamydia rose by 11 per cent last year.Ms Spillane said the agency also found that alcohol was not the main factor in an unplanned pregnancy. "It is a factor but not the key factor. The key factor is the unplanned and opportunistic nature of sex. If you have the opportunity to have sex, you will take it," she said.She was speaking yesterday as the agency introduced a new "Think Contraception" campaign which encourages consistent use of contraception among young adults. The campaign with the logo "Nobody else is going to do the thinking for you" is primarily aimed at the 18-24 age group and involves television, radio and online advertising, posters, leaflets and a website (www.thinkcontraception.ie)."We want to ensure that sexually active young adults plan for and consistently use contraception every time they have sex," said Enda Saul, programmes and communications manager. "We want both men and women to feel that contraception is a shared responsibility."Research commissioned by the agency has found that 26 per cent of 18-25 year olds do not consistently use contraception during sex. It also found that 28 per cent of women who had been pregnant had experienced a crisis pregnancy at some stage.Last week's Budget announced the merging of the agency into the HSE. Katharine Bulbulia, agency chairwoman, did not criticise the move. "The important part of this announcement is that the agency will continue its important work to address the issue of crisis pregnancy in Ireland," she said.

YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation

YOUNG women are still reluctant to carry condoms because they believe it could damage their reputation, the latest research from the Crisis ...

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new survey says women would prefer sleep while men would prefer sex with that extra hour we get by setting back the clock this weekend. But it reinforces gender stereotypes and "doesn't help couples," says a Vancouver sex therapist. The survey, conducted by an advocacy group for mattress manufacturers, found that 55 per cent of women would prefer to get more sleep with that extra hour compared to only 31 per cent of men. It also found that nearly 57 per cent of men would prefer to be having sex in that extra hour compared to only 32 per cent of women. Nevermind that most men probably couldn't last the hour. But could it be that women really would prefer to sleep? "I think that a survey like this really doesn't help couples," Pega Ren, a Vancouver sex therapist, told CTV.ca. "I think it enforces the stereotype that women do not desire sex and that men are always the aggressors. That women have something that men want and that women don't particularly want to give it to them." "If you say to me, you have an extra hour in your life on a Saturday night, would you rather have an extra hour of sex or an extra hour of sleep, I may well say, give me the sleep, it's a Saturday night," Ren said. "But if you said to me, we're going to send you off to the hot spring and we're going to take care of the babysitter and we're going to give you an extra $50 on the room, now what's your answer, I may have a very different answer for you." The online survey was conducted by Leger Marketing for the Better Sleep Council Canada, a group that promotes "the value that a better quality mattress and foundation can bring when regularly replaced within the sleep environment." No surprise, then, that the survey found that 58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep, compared to 43 per cent of men. And 62 per cent of respondents said a better bed would improve their quality of sleep and one quarter said a better bed would improve their sex life. "I've had the same mattress for years and when I want a better sleep I flip the mattress," Ren said. Ren said such surveys shut down avenues of communication between couples, who should really be talking about the factors that may influence their sex-versus-sleep preferences. "It makes it difficult for us to talk about these things because we assume that the answers are pre-determined," Ren said. "They're not."

58 per cent of women said they are less interested in sex after a bad night's sleep

new survey says women would prefer sleep while men would prefer sex with that extra hour we get by setting back the clock this weekend. But ...

As a sex, we're not the best communicators when it comes to talking to the women in our lives. I know I'm not - but I'm much better when I have a pen

The ‘Chasing Cars' frontman has admitted he uses his song-writing talents to express his feelings about the opposite sex.He said: "...

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia.

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia. And earlier this year, relationship counselling service Relate said there had been a huge increase in the number of cases concerning sexual compulsive behaviour. Sex therapists would argue it is a real addiction with serious consequencesBut others in psychiatry and psychotherapy argue it is not comparable to substance addiction and should not be classed as such Now Lord Laidlaw, 65, says he has been fighting the "disease" for the whole of his adult life. So are so-called sex addicts suffering from an illness or just making excuses for being unfaithful? It's a very serious addiction, says Paula Hall, who runs a group therapy course for "sex addicts" in Warwickshire, and it's believed about one in 20 people suffer from it. Although not a chemical addiction like alcohol or heroin, it's a "process addiction" like gambling, she says, with a biochemical element linked to the release of dopamine in the brain. "It's a compulsive need to seek out and follow a certain type of sexual behaviour. That behaviour varies but it's basically an anaesthetising behaviour, something you are doing in order to avoid dealing with something else. "It's a coping mechanism and it's totally and entirely out of control. You are continuing to pursue it in spite of the consequences, like losing your job, your status, your wife and your health." It's not really about sex. It's driven by shame Addicts are usually men and they are of any age, she says, and from any background. The behaviour ranges from viewing online porn for a few hours a day, which is usually a starting point and then escalates, to visiting prostitutes at every opportunity. "It's a way of escaping from low self-esteem, feelings of anger and insecurity. It's not really about sex. It's driven by shame. "You feel about yourself and one way to stop feeling bad about yourself is to do something nice, but afterwards you feel even worse about yourself."

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia.

Russell Brand admitted to spending a week at a centre for sexual addiction in Philadelphia. And earlier this year, relationship counselling ...

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to clinicians and researchers testifying before a Senate committee Thursday. "The internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors," Layden said. "To have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children know how to use it better than grown-ups know how to use it -- it's a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind." Pornography addicts have a more difficult time recovering from their addiction than cocaine addicts, since coke users can get the drug out of their system, but pornographic images stay in the brain forever, Layden said. Jeffrey Satinover, a psychiatrist and advisor to the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality echoed Layden's concern about the internet and the somatic effects of pornography. "Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance," Satinover said. "That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can't do, in effect." The internet is dangerous because it removes the inefficiency in the delivery of pornography, making porn much more ubiquitous than in the days when guys in trench coats would sell nudie postcards, Satinover said. Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kansas), the subcommittee's chairman, called the hearing the most disturbing one he'd ever seen in the Senate. Brownback said porn was ubiquitous now, compared to when he was growing up and "some guy would sneak a magazine in somewhere and show some of us, but you had to find him at the right time."

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine

Internet pornography is the new crack cocaine, leading to addiction, misogyny, pedophilia, boob jobs and erectile dysfunction, according to ...

'In Korea, it seems to be primarily gaming sites. In America, it seems to be Facebook. It's porn, it's games, it's gambling, it's chatting with friend

Robert Freedman, editor of the American Journal of Psychiatry, said expressions of the addiction could be diverse. 'In Korea, it seems to be primarily gaming sites. In America, it seems to be Facebook. It's porn, it's games, it's gambling, it's chatting with friends. All these things existed before, but now they're a lot easier.'Tense? Angry? Can't get online? Internet addiction is now a serious public health issue that should be officially recognised as a clinical disorder, according to a leading psychiatrist.Excessive gaming, viewing online pornography, emailing and text messaging have been identified as causes of a compulsive-impulsive disorder by Dr Jerald Block, author of an editorial for the respected American Journal of Psychiatry. Block argues that the disorder is now so common that it merits inclusion in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the profession's primary resource to categorise and diagnose mental illnesses. He says internet addiction has four main components: Excessive use, often associated with a loss of sense of time or a neglect of basic drives; Withdrawal, including feelings of anger, tension and/or depression when the computer is inaccessible;The need for better computers, more software, or more hours of use; Negative repercussions, including arguments, lying, poor achievement, social isolation and fatigue.A primary case study is South Korea, which has the greatest use of broadband in the world. Block points out that 10 people died from blood clots from remaining seated for long periods in internet cafes and another was murdered because of an online game. Their country now 'considers internet addiction one of its most serious public health issues'. The government estimates that around 210,000 South Korean children are affected and in need of treatment, of whom 80 per cent might need drugs targeting the brain and nearly a quarter could need to go to hospital. Since the average high school pupil there spends about 23 hours per week gaming, Block notes, another 1.2 million are believed to be at risk of addiction and require basic counselling. There has been alarm over a rising number of addicts dropping out of school or quitting their jobs to spend more time on computers. In China it has been reported that 13.7 per cent of adolescent internet users, about 10 million, could be considered addicts.Block, a psychiatrist at the Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, writes that the extent of the disorder is more difficult to estimate in America because people tend to surf at home instead of in internet cafes. But he believes there are similar cases, concluding: 'Unfortunately internet addiction is resistant to treatment, entails significant risks and has high relapse rates.' He told The Observer that he did not believe specific websites were responsible. 'The relationship is with the computer,' he said. 'First, it becomes a significant other to them. Second, they exhaust emotions that they could experience in the real world on the computer, through any number of mechanisms: emailing, gaming, porn. Third, computer use occupies a tremendous amount of time in their life. Then if you try to cut the cord in a very abrupt fashion, they've lost essentially their best friend. That can take the form of depression or rage.' Harry Husted, a single 51-year-old from New York, spends 16 hours a day on the internet. He insists that he is not addicted, but admits that he used to be. 'I used to work with computers for eight hours, then get home and go online for seven hours. I would stay up till two or three in the morning until I got so sleepy I had to go to bed. I wouldn't go out to get the groceries and I couldn't have cared less about friends, TV, anything. After a while I realised what was happening and did something about it. Now if I use MySpace it's only to advertise my business.'Internet addiction clinics have sprung up around the world in an attempt to wean people off their need for a fix. Many people have turned, apparently without irony, to web discussion boards with names such as Internet Addicts Anonymous. The Centre for Internet Addiction Recovery in Bradford, Pennsylvania, says internet addiction has become a growing legal issue in criminal, divorce and employment cases. It offers a consultation service to lawyers that includes 'assessing the role of electronic anonymity in the development of deviant, deceptive and illegal sexual online activities'.To beat the addiction, he advised: 'A self-help group might be a place to start. Maybe replace an online group with a real one.'

'In Korea, it seems to be primarily gaming sites. In America, it seems to be Facebook. It's porn, it's games, it's gambling, it's chatting with friend

Robert Freedman, editor of the American Journal of Psychiatry, said expressions of the addiction could be diverse. 'In Korea, it seems t...

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction, in which large number of people are continuously hooked on to the Internet for hours. new finding will make mental health professionals face a new affliction, besides compulsive gambling or even the 'age-old' smoking and drug addiction. "The problem isn't widespread but we know of serious cases in which teenagers don't leave the house, don't have interpersonal relationships, and have been isolated in front of their computer screen for the past two or three years, and only speak in the language of the characters they play with in network video games," said Louise Nadeau, a professor at the Université de Montréal's Department of Psychology. He added: "In a few years we'll have couples in therapy because the Internet will have become their main occupation." Nadeau is director of the new university institute on addiction that conducts epidemiological studies on addiction, evaluate the services available to patients, guarantee state-of-the-art practices, and document new forms of addiction.

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction

Louise Nadeau, from Universite de Montreal's Department of Psychology,is now investigating this newly found compulsive affliction, in wh...

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